


Reckless Behavior

by grliegirl



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Adultery, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dark, Dark!Reylo, Dr. Pandora Spocks, F/M, Inappropriate Use of EMDR, Infidelity, Inspired By Unfaithful (2002), Marriage, Modern AU, Obsession, Obsessive Behavior, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV First Person, Rewritten Reylo, Temptation, Thriller, reylo book of sins, sinning is winning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-05-06 02:32:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14632260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grliegirl/pseuds/grliegirl
Summary: Rey and Ben Solo are a young, loving couple whose marriage gets put to the test when Rey has a chance encounter with a striking stranger named Kylo Ren… her husband’s doppelgänger.





	1. Happy Wife, Happy Life

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! 
> 
> So I wrote this about a year ago for the Reylo Book of Sins Rewritten Reylo anthology. I've decided to finally post it here and continue with the story because... well, why not? 
> 
> Also because sinning is winning, hahaha! ;) 
> 
> A word of caution to this tale: I think it's going to be dark, y'all, so reader beware, you're (prolly) in for a scare.
> 
> Maybe. 
> 
> Or maybe not. 
> 
> We shall see...
> 
> I don't know what I'm doing lol :P
> 
> Btw, Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mommas out there! You guys are AMAZING and deserve all the best!

A boisterous yawn escaped my lips in the middle of my husband’s continued lackluster thrusts. He stirred, lifting his head from where it was resting on my chest. His brown eyes were warm with concern, peering intently into my own hazel ones.

“I’m almost done, sweetheart, I promise,” he informed me, his tone gentle.

He was always quite chivalrous with me. In fact, it was what initially drew me to him—what had eventually won me over. And I fell hard, practically head over heels for him. Despite his somewhat awkward appearance, what with his large nose and ears that stuck out like a pond in the desert.

“No, I’m sorry, honey,” I told him sweetly while giving him a reassuring pat on his shoulder. “I’m just so tired, but you go ahead and finish. No rush.”

He nodded before replacing his cheek back on my chest, resuming his awkward scrunched-up unenthusiastic lovemaking once more. Apparently, he didn’t take me seriously when I told him to take his time, because not even one minute later he let out one throaty grunt and was finished.

“Hopefully,” Ben Solo grinned as he tenderly rubbed my belly before giving it a kiss, “we just made a baby right now.”

I grimaced, grateful he was looking down to miss my pained expression before it quickly changed into something resembling a smile.

“Yeah,” I replied in a monotone voice, “hopefully, we did.”

Unbeknownst to my dear husband, the IUD he thought I had removed a month ago was still very much firmly attached to my uterus. Pretty certain my womb would remain barren, thank God.

“I'm gonna go check on Hannah,” I said, pushing him off me to get out of bed. There was a wet, sloshing sound when he slid out of me and he handed me back my knickers. Ben knew how much I hated to go commando, even in my sleep. “Thanks, darling.”  

I slipped them on quickly, tugging my nightgown down and then quietly tiptoed my way over to Hannah’s nursery. I stood over her crib, my heart melting when I saw her cherubic face sound asleep. She literally looked like a baby angel with her pink, pudgy cheeks and cute button nose.

“My precious sweet pea,” I cooed softly. Hannah wasn't always this peaceful, though. She just recently started sleeping through the night and I couldn't be more happier about that. The first couple months were _rough_. She was an extremely fussy baby, plagued with colic.

Have you ever been so tired that you almost dropped your only child? So bloody weary that in the middle of a 3AM feeding, with droopy eyes and a sagging head, you unlatched your daughter from your breast and leaned over, thinking you were by her crib and not still sitting in a rocking chair. You were just about to let go, assuming she'd land comfortably atop her soft mattress and not onto the solid hardwood floor.

Your brain so fried and desperate for sleep that it couldn't reason, couldn't comprehend that you shouldn’t just let go, that you needed to move closer, you needed to make sure she was placed gingerly into her crib. No, you just wanted to release her, finally succumbing to a bit of shut-eye, to at long last have gotten some fucking rest. And just as you were about to let your hands come out from under her so she’d fall onto the cold, hard floor, she cried, rousing you from your dazed stupor and you realized the horrific thing you were about to do.

You noticed you were nowhere near her crib and were about to seriously injure her, or worse, you could've—oh, God! You clutched her to your chest then, sobbing uncontrollably as you kissed her small head, enveloping her in the safety of your embrace and vowing never to let anything bad happen to her, especially by your own hands.

Have you ever been that tired?

Well, I have.

I _never_ want to experience that level of exhaustion ever again.

 _Never_.

It would be selfish of me, of us, to have another child. I understood why Ben desired a new baby. I did. He didn't want Hannah to be an only child, like he was. I could empathize with that. I was by myself, too and yes, there were times I wanted a sibling. To play with, to fight with, to not be…lonely. In theory, it did sound nice, I had to admit. In actual practice? I wasn't sure, to be honest.

I did know that Hannah needed me, though, and I was going to be there for her _always_. I couldn't do that if I also had to look after her sibling. My attention would no longer be undivided, but fragmented, each child only getting a part of me when I could be giving one my whole, entire self.

It was true what they said. Everything changed when you had a baby. Everything used to be about me and since Hannah came into our lives, it was all about her now. Not that I resented her for it. No. She deserved everything. I just wished that I could be a bit selfish myself sometimes. I missed it. As it turned out, with each kid you have, a piece of you died.  
  
“I can arrange to get you some help,” Ben told me once when I was in a particularly dour mood. “A nanny… or a baby nurse, I think they're called.”

“No!” I venomously spat back. “I don't need any help, Ben! I can do this on my own. What? You don't think I can?”

“Of course you can, Rey, sweetheart,” Ben tried to hug me, but I pushed him away. “But you do _everything_ for her. You're _always_ with her and you need some time for yourself, too, you know? You should take a break.”

“Take a break?” I furrowed my brows together in anger. “From what? From being her mother? You hear how ridiculous that sounds?”

I strongly believed that giving your kid a nanny didn't provide them with the feeling of love and security they needed, that they deserved. I'm the only one that could give my child that. Some women were like broodmares, popping out kids like they were popping open the trunk of their car. And some could afford to do so because their husband, like mine, would be able to hire a nanny to share her duties with.  
  
I didn’t need any help nor wanted it raising _my_ daughter. What I did want was to make sure Hannah was molded to perfection. Only I knew what was best for her. She was my purpose, my dearest treasure. And it was my responsibility as a mom to be there for her. Always. A mother's love was unmatched to any other kind of love in this world, unconditional and never-ending. It was undeserved and needn't be acquired. It just... _was_.

From the moment a mother found out her child was forming in her womb, she loved her. And when she saw that child, the child she felt kick inside her, the child who was with her day in and day out, but also a complete stranger... when she finally got to meet that person, her whole world shifted. Her heart grew immensely and was filled to the brim with nothing but adoration and devotion.

I never had a mother. I never experienced that kind of love. But Hannah will. She'd never have that doubt, that uncertainty that I had growing up. She will always know that she was loved by me. She will _always_ have all of me.

No one would ever be able to take care of Hannah like I could. _I_ was her mother!

“Rey,” Ben sighed discontentedly, “you know that's not what I'm saying. I just see how tired you are and I'm only trying to help you, that's all.”

“I'm fine!” I yelled back, my outburst startling Hannah awake. She started wailing and I instantly ran over to pick her up from her bassinet in the living room, leaving Ben in our sprawling chef’s kitchen, shaking his head. I hummed softly in Hannah’s ear, holding her tight while swiveling back and forth at my hips to lull her back to sleep. My efforts were in vain as she continued to fuss incessantly, both of us about to reach our boiling points.

“Here, let me take her,” Ben came up behind me, rubbing my shoulders lightly. “You go take a nap. I got this.”

“Ok,” I nodded in surrender, handing her over to him. Ben was the only other person I trusted Hannah with. He was her father after all and a damned good one, too. He was absolutely wonderful with Hannah. I watched as he swaddled her tightly in his strong arms, rocking her gently back to sleep. He made it look so easy.

My goodness, I was so irritable, crabby and bad-tempered. All because I didn’t sleep much. Such was the life of a new mother, I suppose. Everything had markedly improved now that Hannah was older. She was still a lot of work, but definitely more manageable.

I couldn't believe Ben was willing to go through that again in order to add to our family, but I couldn't do it. For Hannah’s sake, for my sanity and for the good of our marriage, I’ve made the executive decision to not have another baby. Now all I needed to do was get Ben on board.

Oh yeah, I haven’t had the heart to tell him yet. Ben was very excited over the mere idea of another baby, I didn't have it in me to quash his dreams so I made him think I was amenable to baby number two. We could cross that bridge together when we came to it. Although, I was not entirely sure I’d ever be ready to let him know the truth, honestly.

I exhaled deeply, stroking Hannah’s chubby cheek and gave her a kiss good-night before heading back into the bedroom, where Ben was already passed out snoring. I laughed quietly to myself at how drained he’d get after sex. It didn’t take much to tire him out lately, which was kind of pathetic, really. Before we had Hannah, our sex life was amazing. It was passionate and scintillating—oh man! We could literally go all night. After we had Hannah? Yeah, not so much. It was… well, it was pretty fucking boring now.

I had to have a caesarean section because my silly Hannah Banana was facing the wrong way—she was breech—and when the doctor told Ben to peek over the drape to see our baby girl enter the world, he fainted. I wasn't exactly sure what he saw on the other side of that sheet that day, but it affected him profoundly and Ben has looked at me in a different light ever since.

Ben thought I was as fragile as some porcelain doll that could break if he was rough with me. So now he only wanted to do it in the standard missionary position with soft, gentle thrusts, if you could even call them that. They’re more like puffs if you asked me. I’ve told him—no, I’ve _begged_ him—to pummel me into a hedonistic oblivion in various different positions like he used to, but Ben has denied that request every single time I asked. One day I got weary of constantly losing that battle and I gave up. I’ve learned to accept that this was our new normal.

Marriage wasn’t about sex, anyway. It was so much more than that. Ben was my partner, my best friend and the love of my life. Sometimes in a partnership, though, one didn’t always get what they wanted. There’s been give and there’s been take. Marriage was a lot of hard work, true, but worth it in the end. The best things in life merited sacrifice. I’ve had to forgo a bit of myself to be a good wife, to be a good mother. As a result, I got a doting husband with a great job that enabled me to stay at home with my adorable baby. I got a _family_ and a beautiful _home_ , two things I had yearned for dearly all my life.

I smiled contently down at Ben, kissing him awake so that he’d turn to his side and stop that God-awful snoring. I slipped into bed beside him and he turned to snuggle, wrapping his brawny arms around me. My life was nowhere near perfect, but it was bloody fantastic nonetheless. What mattered was that I, at long last, found myself to be truly happy. I was one of the lucky ones. I didn’t think there could be anything better than what I had now. At least, that’s what I thought.

What more could I possibly want?


	2. Impressive Instant

“...sex.”

“What?” I asked for clarification the following morning, snapping out of my intense concentration. I was completely engrossed with the task at hand. Hannah had just woken up and I normally nursed her for a few minutes.

Our days started at 7AM when Hannah woke up. Since Ben was usually already up at this time, he attended to her, changing her diaper for me so that I could get a few more minutes of rest before starting my long work day.

“I said I think we should wait to find out the next baby’s sex,” Ben repeated. “I think it'd be exciting to not know, to find out right when they’re born.”

“Oh,” I simply stated as Hannah finished her feed, adjusting my top to cover up my breast. “Umm, yeah, sure. That sounds like fun.”

“I knew you'd think the same,” Ben grinned, kissing the top of my head before taking Hannah from me to go play with her so I could go downstairs to make breakfast.

I rose from the rocking chair to leave the nursery when I hesitated, stopping by the door to glance over my shoulder. God, I needed to just tell him the truth. I should've blurted out the words right then and there: _I don't want more kids_. He didn't deserve to be kept lied to.

“Hey, Ben?”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

He looked up, briefly pausing his game of peek-a-boo with Hannah to give me his full attention.

I stared at his unassuming face, full of compassion and love for me, studying him. Ben recently grew a goatee that I disapproved of at first, but had now grown to like. His light brown eyes seemed happy and so full of hope. Ben looked so fucking content.

And I couldn't do it.

I couldn't break his heart like that.  

“Do you want pancakes or French toast?” I asked instead.

“Pancakes, please!” Ben answered enthusiastically, resuming another round of peek-a-boo.

“You got it, love.”

Fuck! Next time… next time, I'd tell him.

“Thanks, Rey! Can you say thank you to mommy, Hannah?”

Hannah babbled something resembling “mama” and my heart ballooned with pride. I beamed at the two of them before turning to leave, descending a flight of stairs to the kitchen.

Our house was a beautiful two story Mediterranean-style home with three bedrooms, four bathrooms, a two-car garage and a below ground pool on a double lot located in the affluent city of Coral Gables. We relocated to South Florida from New York about a year ago when Ben accepted to become partner in his uncle’s Miami-based law firm.

He was following in the footsteps of both his uncle and grandfather, a legendary attorney down here. I didn't exactly grasp how big his legacy was until we had moved. Anakin Skywalker was a ruthless prosecutor on many high-profiled cases. Ben wasn't as vicious as he was, though, taking more after his uncle’s compassionate demeanor. Despite that, Ben was an excellent attorney, having won several more cases than lost.

Moving was a bit of an adjustment for me, initially. Living in paradise did come at a cost. The weather, for starters, I absolutely hated. I even _loathed_ it for a while. We arrived in the peak of summer, when the temperatures were scorching and the humidity beyond stifling. The irritating atmospheric moisture basically choked me with invisible pudgy hands. Summer turned to fall, which was still hot unfortunately, but it was a little bit more tolerable. And by little I mean it literally; it was only fractionally better. When winter at last came, the weather was something I bragged—instead of complained—about to my Northern friends. It was nice to have that role reversal.

Another thing I had to assimilate was the fact that English is kind of a foreign language here. Spanish is spoken pretty much by everyone. If one didn't know it, they were forced to learn it… like me. It was almost like I moved to a different country.

It was true that Miami was an international hub, a melting pot of different cultures and nationalities. I've met people from all over the world, even a couple of British expats, but not like we’re close friends or anything. I've pretty much kept to myself and my family.

I had to do what I've done in the past, and I've adjusted. Life had a way of making me do that and I discovered that I was quite adaptable.

When Ben came down with Hannah, he placed her in her high chair. Before he served himself, he grabbed a pancake and tore half of it into small pieces, placing them all over her tray. He was always so helpful, even without me having to ask.

“Thanks, Ben,” I said as I fixed him a plate of pancakes, eggs, and bacon in gratitude.

“Oh no, thank _you_ , honey,” he smiled when I placed his breakfast in front of him as he took his seat at the white marble kitchen island. “This looks delicious!”

“Eat up,” I ordered, pouring a glass of fresh squeezed OJ for him. “You’re gonna need your strength today. I’m sure you’ve got a busy day ahead of you, as always.”

“Crime never sleeps,” he replied, taking a big bite of his pancake, “and neither does justice.”

“You get those bad guys, Daddy,” I encouraged as I went over to sit on his lap. He let me straddle him, staring into my eyes while I fiddled with his tie. “And look sexy while doing it, too.”

His hands ran slowly up my thighs and his lips peppered light kisses along my collarbone. I groaned softly, tilting my hips forward so that he could cup my bottom and I could feel his hardening member. His facial hair tickled my neck as his mouth continued upward until he finally caught my lips with his. I held his face in my hands as my tongue swirled with his, the taste of sweet maple syrup accompanying his consuming kiss.  

Ben lifted the hem of my cotton nightgown to my waist, never tearing his lips from my hungry mouth. The fingers of his right hand skimmed the waistband of my knickers and my breath hitched when I felt him dive in, palming me gently.

“Oh, yes,” I mumbled against his lips, reveling in his feel as he stroked down, “keep going. Don’t stop.”

I felt him freeze when his wrist made contact with my C-section scar and he didn’t go any further, to my utter disappointment.

“We should stop,” he said in a gruff tone, sliding his hand out and away from me. “I need to get going or I’ll be late if we keep this up.”

“Ben…” I pouted petulantly, about to argue that it was still early and we had plenty of time to fool around, but I held my tongue. I knew that he wouldn't want to continue, even if I pestered.

He had no qualm with trying to impregnate me, but make me come? Make me scream and moan with pleasure? That he couldn't do. His reaction to my C-section was irrational, but then again, when did psychological traumas make a person reasonable?

“I'm sorry,” I heard him softly say as he caressed my cheek. “I can't. I just can't, Rey. It’s difficult for me to explain—”

“I know,” I interrupted, knowing full well that it was hard for him and I didn't want to further upset him. It hurt me to see him sad. “It's ok. Don't worry about it.”

“No, it's not ok,” Ben put my face in his large hands, peering intently into me. “It's not fair to you… but I'm working on it.”

“I know you are, Ben,” I hugged him tightly, his arms moving to squeeze around me. “You'll get through this. We _both_ will.”

“I love you,” he whispered in my ear.

“I love you, too,” I returned sweetly, pulling back so I could see his face. A cheerful smile spread across his lips.

“You're too good to me, Rey,” he said while tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. “What would I do without you?”

“Probably make your own breakfast, for starters,” I quipped.

“True,” Ben agreed as we shared a hearty laugh when a loud crash distracted us both.

“Hannah!” I yelled as I got off Ben to go over to her. She had somehow managed to remove her tray and threw it on the floor. I grabbed it, happy to find she had already eaten her pancake bites so there was no mess to clean up. I undid her belt to carry her, then clicked the tray back into place. “How the bloody hell did you do that?”

“She’s a smart one,” Ben offered proudly with his mouth full. He scarfed down the rest of his meal. “Resourceful, too! Takes after her mother, you know.”

“That she does,” I agreed, wiping her hands and mouth clean. There was no doubt Hannah was my daughter. She was my spitting image, right down to my high hairline and dimpled smile. Even her eyes were the exact shade of greenish-brown as mine. We only differed in our hair—hers were luscious locks of shocking jet-black, just like her father’s.

“I’ve gotta go, sweetheart,” he announced, planting a swift kiss on the back of my head. He kissed Hannah goodbye as well before heading out. “You two lovely ladies have fun today. Don’t get into too much trouble!”

“We won’t,” I called after him, waving Hannah’s hand for her. “We’re good girls, aren’t we, Hannah Banana?”

She looked at me, smiling gleefully as drool dribbled out the corner of her mouth. I cleaned it off with the bib she had around her neck as I walked over to the window to watch Ben pull out of the driveway. He honked his horn and blew us each a kiss before driving off.

“Hmm, so… what should we do today?” I asked Hannah once Ben was out of sight. “Shall we go out for a walk?”

Hannah twitched excitedly in my arms.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” I giggled out, “but you have to do something for me first. Can you point to mummy’s mouth?”

She stared at me for a few seconds, then resumed her jerky movements.

“Come on now, Hannah,” I urged. “Point to mummy’s mouth or we won’t go for a walk.”

She gawked, then blinked twice before placing her chubby hands over my mouth.

“Yes! That’s my darling girl,” I grinned broadly, devouring her rosy cheeks with kisses. “You _are_ smart, aren’t you? Alright, let’s go get ready.”

* * *

Usually Hannah and I walked around the neighborhood since it offered picturesque views on winding trails through lush flowering vines, palm and oak trees. Today, however, I felt like a change of scenery so I decided to take advantage of the glorious weather and headed down to South Beach.

The ebullient Art Deco architecture, restaurants, boutiques, colorful stands and plethora of sexy beach bodies to ogle at were a few of the things about its aesthetic that appealed to my inner spring breaker. I _was_ only 24 years old, after all. It was a fact that I myself would frequently forget. The refreshing ocean breeze and smell of salty air weren't bad either.

I drove down Ocean Drive to take in the sights before arriving at the 17th Street Garage and I squealed in delight when I immediately found a great parking spot. Every time I came down here, I made it a habit to peruse down Lincoln Road and window shop prior to strolling the white sandy beach.

I brought both Hannah’s stroller and BabyBjörn front carrier, still debating which one I wanted to use. I decided it would be less of a hassle if I wore Hannah in the baby carrier so I placed it around my arms, adjusting the straps so that it was snug. Then I grabbed Hannah and made sure she was secure, positioning her back against my chest so that she faced the world, her views unobstructed.

She had on a white hat with a brim and the cutest pair of pink heart-shaped sunglasses to protect her from the sun. A benefit of living down here was that I always had an awesome tan. I had already liberally applied sunscreen on her and myself so after putting on my fuschia aviator Ray-Bans, we were ready to get into a little mischief.

“Total is $157.88,” the cashier at H&M announced with a thick Miami accent once he rung up all the items.

Ok, so we ended up doing more than solely window shop, but I had texted Ben about it and he was fine with me buying a few things for me and Hannah. I swiped my card through the reader, completing my purchase.

“Have a great day, _señora_ ,” the clerk handed me my bags, “and be careful! I hear we getting _una_ _tormenta_.”

“Storm?” I asked, knitting my brows together as I looked outside. It was sunny and bright, just a smattering of fluffy white clouds here and there. I clearly remembered checking the forecast on my weather app in the morning, stating it’d be partly cloudy with a high of 79°.

Jose here must’ve been mistaken.

“Thanks, I'll be careful.”

Taking my bags from him, I flashed him an appreciative smile and turned to exit the store.

“Ready to go to the beach?” I asked Hannah, rubbing the top of her head. She replied by enthusiastically bouncing up and down, her limbs flailing about. “Alright then, let’s go!”

By the time we reached Ocean Drive, there were ominous gray clouds on the horizon that seemed to have appeared from out of nowhere. There was an eerie silence, an unsettling calm, then a sudden flash of lightning danced across the sky and a booming thunderclap followed that startled us both.

“Shh! It’s ok, darling,” I tried to soothe Hannah’s frightful cries, wrapping my arms around her.

A strong gust of wind forcefully pushed me, knocking me off balance, but I was able to quickly regain my stance. The winds continued to blow violently, causing debris to whirl around everywhere. The currents of air were so robust I had trouble keeping my eyes open and holding onto my bags.

It was getting dangerous as I had to maneuver so that flying items wouldn’t hit me or Hannah.  There was no way we could continue anymore—we had to turn back. I was certain that it would start raining soon and we would end up drenched since I didn’t bring an umbrella with me. Unfortunately, the garage was a couple blocks away, but I was determined to make it. I had to get Hannah to safety.

The wind abruptly picked up once more and it blew violently against me, this time knocking me off my feet. I closed my eyes, bracing myself for impact, pivoting so as to fall on my back in an attempt to cushion my baby.

“Watch out!” I heard someone yell, but I was only focused on protecting Hannah, enveloping her in my tight embrace.

“Oof!” a deep voice below me grunted as I landed on the floor.

No, not the floor. It was too soft to be the concrete sidewalk. Still clutching Hannah in a safeguard hold, my eyes flew open and I lifted my head to stare at a very familiar face.

“Ben?!” I gasped in bewilderment.

He looked an awful lot like Ben at first glance, but upon closer examination, I noticed the subtle differences. This man, who broke my fall and was silently glaring at me as if in a trance, was _not_ Ben.

I held onto Hannah with one arm, using the other one to help me off Ben’s look-alike, rising to stand.

“I'm not Ben,” he finally said, slowly getting up from the sidewalk.

He continued to stare at me once he was upright, his dark, brown—almost black—eyes locking onto mine. I'm not sure if it was the fact that he looked so much like Ben or if it was the way he was gazing admiringly at me, but I was in a state of daze, completely mesmerized. I felt everything around me move—an invisible, yet palpable shift in space.

“You're not Ben,” I repeated his words, mumbling the affirmation under my breath.

“My name is Kylo,” he took a step towards me, his eyes still searing into mine. “Kylo Ren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm... so what do you guys think? 
> 
> Comments are LIFE and help me keep telling the story! I also just love hearing from y'all so let me know your thoughts about anything. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!! :D


	3. Into You

“Kylo?” I frowned, regarding him shrewdly.

It was so fucking weird how similar in looks he was to Ben. He had his same color and texture of hair, the same large nose and angular jawline. His ears were covered by his mane, but I was willing to bet everything I had that they were huge, just like Ben’s. He even had his same tone of voice and height, but he was missing a beard. It was all very surreal and uncanny.

His clean-shaven face made memories flood my brain, memories of when I first met Ben and all the rampaging emotions that went along with it. The feeling of overwhelming excitement, the flourishing giddiness and the splash of nervousness. It was happening all over again in a most exhilarating way… but this guy wasn't my husband. He was a complete bloody stranger, and yet—I still found myself inexplicably drawn to him. I was caught in a deep trance and it made me involuntarily shiver.

“Yeah. Kylo,” he reiterated, bending down to pick up my Ray-Bans, never tearing his gaze away from mine. I hadn't realized they had fallen off. He offered the sunglasses to me. “And you are?”

I hesitated to answer, clasping Hannah tighter to my bosom. She was unusually quiet, probably from awe and confusion at this whole bizarre situation.

“Come on,” he insisted when I stayed mum, not taking the aviators from him. “You at least owe me that. I _did_ just save your life.”

“That's a bit of an exaggeration,” I retorted. “I had it under control.”

“By falling on your ass?”

I scoffed. “The wind pushed me! I had no choice! I certainly wasn't gonna fall forward”—I gestured towards Hannah—“that would've been a dodgy move, don't you think?”

He chuckled as his fingers ruffled through his hair. I had the sudden urge to run my hands through it and I shook my head, driving the unseemly impulse away.

“A little appreciation would be nice,” Kylo sighed, still holding out my sunglasses towards me.

“Thank you,” I huffed, taking the Ray-Bans from his hand. Our skin touched for the briefest of moments and the contact reverberated through me like rolling thunder. There was another streak of lightning that flashed across the sky.

“You're welcome, lady,” Kylo gave me a smug smirk that I really wanted to slap right off, then he looked down at Hannah, “and baby.”

Hannah babbled softly, raising her little arms in the air. She wanted Kylo to carry her.

“Hannah, no!” I pushed her arms down.

“Well, at least Hannah here likes me.” He crossed his arms across his broad chest. His chiseled arms bulged beautifully over his fitted black t-shirt. “Mommy, though... I'm not so sure.”

“Don’t call me that. I'm not your mummy,” I replied, my lip curling up in vexation. My reaction only made Kylo laugh even more. Boy, he was really starting to grind my gears.

A brusque gust of wind blew into us, making all our hair sweep in every direction and giving me another hefty shove. I almost fell again.

“Come inside!” Kylo ordered, gripping my shoulders with his large hands, causing my skin to bristle with goose pimples. “It’s dangerous out here!”

I was about to say no when all of a sudden, it started to pour. I instinctively shielded Hannah, running up the stairs and into the building we were in front of for shelter.

Once we were safe from the storm indoors, I took a quick glance around and saw that we were in a hotel lobby.

“Where are we?” I asked the man who wasn't Ben once he was at my side again.

“ _The Z Ocean Hotel_ ,” he answered back.

“Are you staying here?”

“No, I live here.”

“You live in a hotel?”

“Well, I also work here,” he disclosed, giving me an inconspicuous once over, which he thought I didn't notice. “I'm the live-in janitor.”

“Oh,” I simply stated.

I was wearing a beige cami top and brown capris, nothing worth ogling at, in my opinion. Still, the fact that he looked at me like that—and still was—resonated deep in a place that ached to emerge.  

“You’re wet.”

My mouth dropped, aghast. “I beg your pardon?”  

“Yeah, mommy,” he nodded his head, “the rain didn’t soak you, but it got you and the kid a bit there.”

I looked down and found rain droplets dewed all over my exposed skin. Hannah wasn’t nearly as wet as I was, but she did feel a bit damp.

“Follow me, I’ve got towels in my room,” he offered, placing an arm around me to lead me further inside.

“I’m quite alright here in the lobby, thank you,” I remained rooted in place, shrugging his arm away from my shoulder.  “I can wait for you to get them.”

He noticed my reluctance as I hugged Hannah tighter.

“I’m not an ax murderer,” he joked, flashing a disarming smile that made me want to trust him. “I promise.”

“I… I need to go,” I answered, ignoring his cheeky remark.

We both turned to look outside the glass windows where numerous lightning bolts lit up the gray sky, heavy winds cutting through the rain hemorrhaging from above. It astounded me how rapidly the weather could go from sunny and perfect to stormy and terrifying here. Storms like these, though they appeared alarming, would vamoose as suddenly as they appeared. I only needed to wait it out.

“You can’t go out in that,” he pointed out the obvious. “The news said it’ll be going straight into the night.”

“What?” I scoffed, disbelieving. “My weather app said it’d be fine today, only partly cloudy.”

“You need a new app,” he laughed, “because that is _not_ partly cloudy, mommy.”

“I told you not to call me that!” I spat back. “I’m not your mummy!”

“So what is your name?” Kylo asked casually.

“Rey,” I blurted out without thinking. I wanted to smack myself for falling right into his trap.

“Rey,” he repeated, testing it out on his sumptuous lips. “I like it. It’s… interesting.”

“Not as interesting as Kylo,” I rebutted. “I’ve never heard of that one.”

“Touché.”

Kylo chuckled at me and I couldn’t help but join in, giggling shyly. Hannah started to laugh as well, shrieking excitedly while clapping her hands together.

“You know, I don’t really like kids,” Kylo began to say, pointing a finger at Hannah, “but she’s cute!”

“Thank you,” I beamed with pride and joy, dipping my head to kiss Hannah’s cheek.

“She looks just like you, too,” he added. “Except for the hair.”

“Right,” I concurred as a wave of sudden discomfort washed over me. “She got that from her father.”

“Hmm,” Kylo mused stoically, making his face hard to read. “Let me go get those towels. Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

I nodded as he turned to leave.

I caught myself staring at his backside longer than I should’ve when the rain slammed powerfully against the windows. The pounding noise jolted Hannah, making her cry. I tried to assuage her frightened state, rocking her side to side but was unsuccessful at calming her down. The people in the lobby were starting to glare at me, unhappy that my screaming baby was making a fuss. I saw Kylo turn around and head straight towards me.

“Come on, my room’s not far and you can’t hear the storm from there as much,” Kylo instructed, putting his arm around me once more to guide me down the long hallway.

“Ok,” I said, letting him take us to his room as I attempted to mollify Hannah’s ear-splitting cries.

I put down my bags when we were inside his room. Hannah hadn’t let up, still screaming her head off. I recognized the change in the pitch of her cry and realized she was crying from hunger now. I glanced at the time and saw I had let her lunchtime sneak past me.

“I need to feed her!” I shouted so that Kylo could hear.

“Shit!” Kylo frowned at me. “I don’t have any baby food.”

“No, I can feed her,” I took a quick glimpse around his small studio apartment. “I just need somewhere… private to do so!”

“Oh!” Kylo’s face was overcome with understanding. “I can leave if you want me to.”

“That’s not necessary,” I shook my head. I felt bad taking over his space. “Can I borrow a blanket or something?”

Kylo went over to a closet near the door and took out a medium-sized black blanket. “Will this work?”

“Yes, that’ll do,” I held out my hand, still shushing into Hannah’s ear. He placed it in my hand and I pointed to his bed. “Can I sit here?”

“Of course,” he patted the bed for emphasis.

I set down the blanket on the bed and lifted Hannah out to gingerly lay her on top of it. I hurriedly removed the BabyBjörn carrier, then picked her up to position her to nurse. She was extremely finicky at this point, requiring both my hands to stabilize her.

“Kylo, can you… can you put the blanket over me, please?” I asked as I continued to struggle.

“Sure,” he said, coming over to carefully place it so that it covered my upper body.

“Thanks,” I smiled kindly, staring up at him.

He stared right back and we lingered there, captivated by the other. Then Hannah screeched at the top of her lungs and the moment was broken. I took my breast out under the blanket, expertly latching her onto it and at last, the incessant bawling had ceased.

“Does it hurt?” Kylo asked, his tone expressing genuine interest. He hadn’t moved, still close and hovering over me, but I didn’t feel uncomfortable.

“It did at first, when she was a newborn,” I lifted my head to look at him, “but it doesn’t anymore.” I winced, hissing in pain. “Unless she tugs—ouch, Hannah!”

Kylo laughed, sitting down on the bed beside me and I basked in his close proximity. He kept me company, asking me a variety of questions and I did the same, too. It didn’t feel awkward or forced at all. At first I thought he was making small talk to distract me while feeding, but we still continued even after Hannah was done eating and she was fast asleep on his bed. It became apparent that he truly was interested in _me_.

Just as I was interested in _him_.

We had moved to sit down on the floor, near his bed so that Hannah was always in my view. As the storm raged on outside, we spent the afternoon just talking, learning more about one another. And he wasn’t getting on my nerves like before. The conversation flowed easily, so naturally.  

I should’ve discouraged him. I should’ve told him to keep his distance. I should’ve told him to stop and leave me be. I was a married woman, a happy wife who loved her husband.

But I didn’t.

I let myself indulge in a bit of selfishness and I reveled in another man’s attentiveness, preoccupation and intrigue.

“You’re quite the fascinating person, Rey,” he remarked while caressing my cheek with his long index finger, inching dangerously closer to me.  

“I could say the same thing about you,” I whispered, leaning into his touch, “Kylo Ren.”

“Do you know how fucking beautiful you are?” He ran his other hand along the bare skin of my upper arm, making me shiver uncontrollably.

I whimpered when his hand grasped my neck and he pulled me to him so that his lips just barely grazed my earlobe, sending bursting signals of passion all over my body.

“Kylo,” I pleaded breathily. For what, I wasn’t entirely certain. I wanted to believe that I was going to beg him to stop, but it could have been just as easy for him to do the exact opposite.

I wasn’t able to discover which because the blaring sound of my phone’s marimba ringtone distracted us both.

I fished it out of my pocket and my eyes widened when I saw the name “Ben” staring up at me.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey Rey, where are you guys at?” Ben asked with a hint of worry coloring his tone. “I was shocked to come home to an empty house. You two ok?”

“I’m sorry, honey,” I apologized profusely, getting up from the floor to stand. “We got caught in a terrible storm in South Beach and I had to wait it out, but I’m on my way right now.”

“Shit, that’s awful. I’m glad to hear you girls are fine. Be careful getting back here, though. Don’t be reckless.”

_Don’t be reckless_.

His words echoed in my mind, shaking me to my very core. I’d been, most likely, about to engage in some reckless behavior had he not called. That rocked me back to my senses indeed. There was no doubt anymore.

“Don’t worry, Ben,” I reassured him… and myself as well. “I won’t. I’ll be careful. See you soon.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

I hung up and immediately started gathering my things to leave, praying that the storm let up a bit by now.

“You can’t leave,” I heard Kylo say from below, his hand coming up to clutch mine. “Stay. Please.”

“I can’t, Kylo,” I jerked my hand away from his grasp to pinch the bridge of my nose. “I can’t do this!”

I didn’t give him a chance to argue. I quickly, but gently picked up Hannah from the bed and I snatched my bags on my way out, sprinting down the hallway and through the lobby. I never looked back, busting through the hotel’s doors and sighing in relief when I was outside.

Thankfully, it was no longer raining and the winds had died down. Hannah stirred in my arms, but didn’t cry as I ran the couple blocks back to the garage to leave my selfish desires behind.

I only hoped I’d never have to cross paths with Kylo Ren again because I knew I could resist pretty much anything… as long as it wasn’t temptation itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren, temptation personified, uh-oh! Will Rey be able to resist? 
> 
> So what do you guys think? I love hearing from you xD 
> 
> Oh, also! On the subject of doppelgängers, have you guys ever crossed paths with yours? I have! Let me tell you, it was the freakiest thing ever! 
> 
> Here are some celebrity doppelgängers for kicks! Click [HERE](http://www.instyle.com/celebrity/celebrity-doppelgangers-lookalikes-twins#2968982) and [HERE](http://stylecaster.com/beauty/10-celebrity-doppelgangers/slide19#autoplay) and [HERE](https://people.com/celebrity/katy-perry-zooey-deschanel-lookalike-celebrities/#ana-kathryn) to take a look-see. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	4. Addicted

****The next morning, as Hannah and I waved Ben goodbye, I was filled with a sense of dread, anxiety… and a hint of excitement. I tried to bury that last feeling into the deepest, darkest corners of my soul.

Last night, I told Ben about my encounter with Kylo Ren, how he helped us and gave us shelter from the storm. I told him how he looked so strikingly similar to him, too. 

“Looks like you found my long lost twin,” he joked.

“It's so weird, Ben. He literally does look like your twin,” I said, rubbing my arms to ward off sudden chills the mere thought of Kylo Ren was provoking. “He’s younger than you, though. He said he just turned 29.”

“Well, they do say that we all have a look-alike out there somewhere,” Ben reasoned, throwing his hands in the air. “Guess this Kylo is mine. I wonder where yours is?”

He blathered on about the topic, but I tuned him out, only nodding or shaking my head every now and then to make it seem like I was listening. My mind was elsewhere, focusing on the brush of Kylo’s lips across my skin, the exquisite fluttering sensation in my center at his closeness—the way I could feel the heat just radiate off his body, warming me so enticingly. Those things I left out in my recount of yesterday. Ben didn't need to know about that.

Especially since nothing ended up happening. And that was the most important thing.

There was a difference between _thinking_ about something and _acting_ on it—the latter more likely to have consequences, good or bad.

I sighed.

I had to go see him again today. Not because I couldn't stop thinking about him or because I wanted to finish what we started the day before.

No, that wasn't it.

I was going to go see him again because I had left Hannah’s carrier there yesterday in my haste to leave.

So when I found myself inside the hotel where he worked, standing in the lobby with Hannah sleeping soundly inside her convertible car seat, I became quite anxious knowing I’d see him again. I even started to tremble. God, I needed to control myself! This was a very simple mission: retrieve what was mine and leave.

Get in, get out.

With that quiet resolve, I took a deep breath and walked down the long hallway until I reached the room at the end of it. I knocked so gently on the door that I was pretty sure I was the only person able to hear it. 

“Oh, well, he's not home,” I muttered to myself after a few seconds of no response. I turned sideways, ready to power walk out of there when the door suddenly flew open.

“Rey?” Kylo breathed out, a blissful smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

Shit.

“Hi, Kylo,” I cleared my throat, shifting between my feet. 

“Please, come in.”

I should've said no. I should've told Kylo I was only here to get the baby carrier I left behind and depart, never to return again. I didn't need to go inside. I didn't need to be in a room alone with him...

“Ok,” I acquiesced, crossing over the threshold. I set Hannah, still knocked out in her car seat, down on his bed—a pretty bold move on my part, but I knew he wouldn't mind.

When I twisted around to face him, his lips came crashing down on mine and we were caught in a wild, frenzied passionate kiss. The contact burned pleasantly, a fire lighting up every single one of my nerve endings. 

My arms flew to cup his face, then moved to run through his hair. He placed his hands on my hips and pulled me against his firm, enormous build. Kylo drew his tongue across my lips and I parted my mouth. He explored my tongue by lightly licking it at first, then sucked on it. I moaned as our tongues twirled with one another, a sloppy and slick dance.

We stopped when I whipped my head around to look at Hannah, who I heard cry softly, but was still asleep. The pause helped me to regain control, and I blinked rapidly.

“Kylo, I—I can't,” I whispered, pushing him away from me. “I can't do this. It's _wrong_.”

He glared at me, pulling my body flush against his. “Hit me.”

“What?”

“Hit me,” Kylo repeated, his left hand gliding upwards to squeeze my breast. I gasped in shock instead of affront. “I've been a bad boy, mommy.”  

I slapped him hard across his face, his pale skin reddening where I struck him. He slowly turned his head back to look at me, smirking. 

“I told you not to call me that,” I hissed, pressing my hips forward. I could feel how hard he was, and the fact that it was me arousing him sent shivers down my back. “I'm _not_ your mother!”

“Which means it's not wrong to fuck me,” he barked, lifting me up. My legs wrapped around his waist, and my hands fisted around his luscious tresses. I yanked hard, eliciting a feral growl from deep in his chest. Never tearing his gaze away from mine, he slowly walked us over to the nearest wall and he slammed me against it. 

“Ugh!” I grunted, but it was more from surprise than pain. I leaned down to kiss him again, his bottom lip trapped between my teeth as I pulled hard. I let go when a metallic taste coated the inside of my mouth. I stared down at his lip, swollen and slightly crimson from my bite.

Kylo licked his lips, chuckling softly. “Does mommy here like it rough?” 

I smacked the other side of his face more forcefully than the last, catching Kylo off guard. 

“Yes,” I said in between pants as a rush of euphoria overwhelmed any guilt I had left, “she does.”

He snarled, whirling his head back to press a vigorous kiss on my lips.

“What mommy wants, mommy gets,” he announced in gruff tone.

He slid me down the wall so I could place my feet back on the ground. He whipped his shirt off over his head before kneeling. Kylo undid the button of my shorts, pulling down the zipper ever so slowly. Kylo never broke eye contact with me, peering deeply into my heated glare. My teeth dug into my lower lip as Kylo pulled down my knickers and shorts in one swift move.

My stomach muscles tightened, and every inch of me started to quiver uncontrollably as I stood bottomless before him. Every time I tried to fight the shaking, it’d only make it worse. I decided to not resist, to let my body send a tremor of exquisite fire through me under his darkened gaze. Before he looked away to ogle down there, I could easily discern the color in his eyes. There was no doubt they were now black, a void where all my inhibitions had gone to.

I held my breath as he scrutinized the thin, pink line stretching right above my mound. He traced the scar with his finger, and I saw nothing but utter fascination spread across his features. 

“Does it… does it bother you?” I asked tentatively, my breathing shallow and brisk.

“No,” he softly confessed, pressing his swollen lips over the middle of the scar. I inhaled deeply, relishing the gentle caress.  “It makes your body even more beautiful.”

I whimpered when he plunged downward, rubbing his nose through my kempt curls and sniffing loudly.

“Rey, you smell so good,” I hear him mutter against me, the vibrations teasing me along with his words. “You probably taste even better.”

And with that he threw my right leg over his left shoulder, my palms pressed against the wall for balance, and I felt his hot breath blow against my sensitive nub. If I wasn’t glistening before, I was for sure _drenched_ now.

“Let’s see how wet you are,” Kylo pulled his head back to glare up at me, his gaze hooded. My eyes grew wide. Did he just read my mind?

I didn’t have time to think on it because he suddenly thrust two thick fingers inside me. The swift motion was so rough, it literally drove me up the wall and I clutched my hands around his head for purchase. My eyes remained glued to his as they bulged in shock.

“Fuck!” I cursed out loud as my walls squeezed around his long fingers.

“That’s what I plan to do, mommy,” he eased out of me slowly, enough that he could see his fingers were slick with my juices, and then he drilled hard into me once more.

“Ahh!” I moaned as my back slid a bit up the wall so that I was on my tippy toes. “Please, don’t stop. Keep going.”  

He happily obliged my pleas by picking up his pace, establishing a rapturous rhythm. I was relentlessly riding his fingers, sliding up and down the wall, my face contorting with pleasure.

“Harder,” I heard myself say in between our ragged breaths.

Kylo grunted, nodding as he pulled back to plunge a third finger into me.

“Holy shit!” I gasped, savoring the delicious stretch with gusto. A languorous moan broke out of my chest when Kylo’s thumb rubbed exquisite circles around my clit, and I sunk more into his hand.

“I… I’m coming!” I announced shrilly, and Kylo’s eyes brightened at my warning.

“Do it,” he ordered gruffly, his fevered stare still searing into me. “Come for me, Rey.” 

His words were my undoing as my shaking muscles tightened, my skin flush and my respirations deepening. The building pressure finally exploded like an atomic bomb, shattering me into a thousand pieces as I let my orgasm consume me entirely.   

I was panting, attempting to catch my breath as I slowly came down from my high, my heart rate hammering inside my chest. My limbs went limp and Kylo pulled his fingers out of me, rising to stand.

The sensation was amazing. It had been so long since I last felt that, and I forgot what I had been so sorely missing in my life. 

"We’re not done yet,” he told me in a husky tone. He licked his fingers dry, and the gesture made the pressure build deep within my belly all over again.  

“Oh,” was all I could muster as he grabbed the bottom of my tank top. I lifted my arms so that he could remove it and he tossed it to the side. Kylo started kissing me hard, his tongue darting into my mouth so that I could taste myself.

His hands roamed greedily all over my bare skin while we were locked in a hot and heavy makeout session. I was still wearing my bra and was delighted when I felt Kylo unhook it, sliding the straps down my shoulder to reveal my taut, perky breasts. He flung my bra over his back and hoisted me up so that my chest was at the level of his eager lips.

With my back still to the wall, I folded my long legs over his waist and my arms around his neck. I threw my head back when his teeth gently bit down my pert nipple. I cried out when he tugged it hard. My abdominal muscles tensed up, the pressure ballooning in my core again under his deft ministrations. His tongue working wonders on one nipple, as the fingers of his calloused hand performed magic on the other one.  A small amount of breast milk leaked out from the nipple his mouth was tending to, and I shuddered with pleasure when I saw Kylo lap it up thirstily, licking his lips with relish.

“You _are_ delicious,” he mumbled gruffly.

“Kylo, ugh…” I was beginning to come undone again, my arms and legs stiffening. I knew I was getting close.

He moved his head back, gazing at the twinge of rising ecstasy on my face.

“Hold on,” he beseeched, “I want to be inside you when you come. Just let me get a condom.”

I vigorously shook my head. “Don’t bother. We don’t need it… as long as you’re clean.”

“I am,” Kylo reassured me, planting wet kisses everywhere he could.

“Then just do it,” I ordered, using my feet to push down his pants. “Fuck me _now_! I can’t hold out much longer.”

I heard Kylo snarl into my ear before he sprung forth his impressive erection from his pants. It all happened so fast, rough and exhilarating.

“Argh!” I cried with his forceful thrust.

He drilled into me as I squeezed his throbbing cock, filling and stretching me so decadently. I rocked my pelvis to his movements, in and out, slow then fast, his pace equally harsh and gentle. I didn’t care that my back was chafing from rubbing up and down on the wall. I only cared about the glorious feeling, the ecstatic rapture as it tightened every muscle in my body. 

As if napalm flowed through my veins, I combusted around him, screaming at the top of my lungs like a fucking banshee. I was certain not only guests in the lobby could hear my wail of pleasure, but the whole building probably heard it, too. I glanced over to the bed where Hannah was still sleeping… well, sleeping like a baby. It was a miracle she hadn’t woken up from my screams.

“Oh, Rey,” Kylo grunted in my ear as he found his release as well. “Fuck!”

Fuck was right.

Oh God, how could I have done this?

How could I have been unfaithful to Ben?

What was wrong with me? 

“Ready for another round, mommy?” Kylo asked, still panting.

I stared into his black eyes, filled with ecstatic triumph. The thing was that… yes, I was ready for another round.

I wanted more.

I got a taste of the delicious high and I wanted it again, even if it was wrong.

But how could something so wrong feel so right? 

And then it hit me.

I was thoroughly and unmistakably addicted.

I knew that addictions could either ruin you, kill you… or make you stronger.

I made the decision right then and there to find out which one my addiction would do to me.

“Yes,” I answered, nodding my head vigorously. “Let’s do it again.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy freaking guacamole, guys! 
> 
> Rey did it. 
> 
> She cheated on Ben, oh no :( 
> 
> And not only that, but the girl is ADDICTED... oh snap! 
> 
> Honestly, I don't think any of us are surprised by this turn of events, but know that:
> 
>  **"In this life, we have to make many choices. The choices we make, however, determine to a large extent our happiness or our unhappiness, because we have to live with the consequences of our choices." - James E. Faust**
> 
> Shout out to [Noriselly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noriselly/pseuds/Noriselly) (check out her fics if you haven't! Her latest one is [Idee Fixe](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13650168/chapters/31351005) and it's really good!) for beta-ing the first four chapters. They were my submission to the Rewritten Reylo anthology last year :D 
> 
> This was the very first time I had written smut so hopefully it was to your liking! *crosses fingers* 
> 
> Any comments? Thoughts? Let me know! I love hearing from you all and helps me to keep writing. So if you want more, don't be shy and share what's on your mind in the little box below!


	5. Like A Drug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, darlings! My goodness, it's been a while, hasn't it?? Sorry it's taken me so LONG to update, but believe you me: I want to finish what I started. Just stick with me, guys. Hang tight, okay? I promise it'll be worth the wait! 
> 
> Well... at least I HOPE it's worth the wait, hahaha :D 
> 
> Please forgive me for any goofs you see; they are solely from yours truly since I don't have a beta ;) 
> 
> Okay, enough chit-chat! Let's get back to the story, shall we?

“Again?”

Ben sat behind his desk, smiling from ear to ear once he saw me and Hannah cross the threshold into his office.

“Yep, it’s us again!”

“What a lovely surprise! Look at my beautiful girls. Aren’t they beautiful, Hux?”

Ben’s aloof redheaded coworker turned around to look at us.

“Hi, Armitage,” I addressed politely. Hannah babbled a greeting.

“Hello, Rey.” Hux’s mouth formed a thin line, his face betraying nothing. “Hannah.”

I made my way over to Ben’s desk, stopping beside Hux.  We greeted one another with a formal handshake. His hand was so… cold. Frigid.

“Am I interrupting something?” I asked as he released me from his icy grip.

“No, no,” Hux shook his head, his copper-red locks moving nary an inch. “I was just leaving.” He pivoted and spoke to Ben. “I’ll get you the files for the Kramer case later.”

“Alright, thanks,” Ben called after Hux’s retreating form. He nodded but didn’t look back, closing the door behind him.

Ben stood and walked over to me. He gave me an all-encompassing hug with Hannah smushed gently between us. She was safe and snug against my chest in her baby Björn carrier.

“Mmm,” he hummed contently. “Ah, this is nice.”

“Yes,” I agreed. “Yes, it is.” I returned his affectionate embrace, realising I was very fortunate that Ben was my husband and the father of my daughter. I realised just how much I truly _loved_ this man.

So it baffled me as to why I insisted on hurting him.

Because that’s what I was doing.

I was hurting my husband.

Fuck, I felt so guilty.

The guilt.

The fucking _guilt_... I couldn’t get rid of it, no matter how hard I tried. It was a constant companion of mine, an ever-present shadow, walking in darkness beside me.

“I didn’t know you were coming in today,” Ben said once we broke our hug, interrupting my thoughts. “You should’ve let me know. I could’ve given you a ride, sweetheart. Oh hey, what’s this?” He pointed to the shopping bag in my hand.

“I uh, stopped by Lincoln Road Mall. Hannah and I went to the beach again today.”

“You two have been going down there a lot lately, ” he remarked. Was there a hint of suspicion to his tone… or was I just imagining things?

I chuckled nervously. “Ah well,” I cleared my throat loudly. Perhaps a bit _too_ loudly since it startled my baby girl. “You know how Hannah and I just love the beach! It’s the best part of living in paradise. Why else live in Miami if not to enjoy the sand and waves, hmm?”

Ben looked up at me, then back down at the shopping bag, nodding in accord. “Right.”

“Anyway, I bought you a present.”

“What, really? No way. Another gift?” His handsome features blossomed into a grin. “What’s the occasion?”

It had become a bit of a routine of mine these past few weeks. A feeble attempt to ease my conscience, to help mollify that goddamned _guilt_. I did it every single time.

Yep.

Every single time I got my fix.

Every single time I made my fantasies come true.

Every single time I’d succumb to temptation, giving in to the dark side.

Every single time that I got thoroughly and deliciously fucked by Kylo, my… side chick, I would stagger and hobble down Lincoln Road to buy Ben a gift. That was my fucked up way of absolving me from my sins. A way to pay for my transgressions, if you will.

Get shagged, give an offering.

That was the routine my addiction brought on.

That’s exactly what my affair was: a fucking addiction. Kylo Ren was like a drug. Instinctively, I’d always come back to him. He made me go against my better judgement, my morals, my bloody _vows_. I was an addict and I couldn’t break free. What was even worse was that I didn’t _want_ to be free, despite my guilt. I simply couldn’t get enough, and I just wanted more.

Always _more_.

“No occasion, really,” I answered Ben, shrugging my shoulders. “I dunno. I saw it in the window display and thought it would look good on you.”

“Really? Thanks, honey. You spoil me! Lemme see.”

“It’s a medium,” I informed as I handed him the bag, and he pulled out the blue cashmere sweater I bought him. “But they say it runs large… oh, Ben!” He started removing his suit jacket and shirt. “You don’t have to try it on _now_.”

“Rey, I’m the boss. I can do whatever I want.”

I crinkled my nose. “I thought your uncle was the boss around here.”

“Speak of the devil and he shall appear,” I heard someone behind me say.

I’d recognize that voice anywhere. “Luke!” Neither I nor Ben had heard him come in.

“We’re _both_ the boss,” Ben corrected quickly, flashing his teeth at his uncle in his undershirt. Good thing I hadn’t bought him trousers or else he’d be pantless right now.

“Hi, Rey,” Luke tapped my shoulder gently, completely ignoring his nephew, giving his undivided attention to—“Hannah! I heard you were here. Oh, Hannah Banana, what a sight for sore eyes you are!”

Hannah screeched and drooled, her chubby arms and legs spasming with excitement once she recognised her Uncle Luke.

“Aren’t you _the_ cutest baby in the whole entire galaxy?” Luke cooed and fawned, pulling Hannah out of her carrier and into his arms. Not that I didn’t trust Luke with my daughter, but I always believed she was safer with me—in _my_ arms—so I muttered a protest... until I felt Ben’s hand at the small of my back, offering me some reassurance.

“Yes, you are!” Luke continued his praises. “You’re the most adorable niece this world has ever seen! Your parents were almost going to name you after me, you know? But they decided to name you after your grandfather instead.”

“Luka,” I interjected, wiping some drool away from Hannah’s mouth with her bib. “We almost named you Luka, Banana. Can you believe that?” She glanced at me briefly before fixing her hazel eyes back on Luke.

“But we thought that name would be better suited for a boy,” Ben told Hannah as he rubbed his left hand over my belly. “For your brother.”

I stifled a groan by biting my lip, and placed a hand over his to stop the incessant rubbing.

Yeah, Hannah wasn’t going to have a brother. Not if I could help it.

“Let me show you the view from my office, Hannah,” Luke told my daughter as they left Ben’s office. “It’s spectacular!”

I started to follow right behind them when Ben got in front of me to shut the door.

And then proceeded to lock it.

“Ben! What are you doing? I have to be near Hannah,” I grunted as I tried to futilely push him from blocking the door. “She needs me.”

“I’ve had a breakthrough, Rey,” he announced abruptly.

I stopped shoving him, stepping back slowly to gaze up at him. His brown eyes were eager, full of hope, and… something else. Something… ardent.

“What?”

“I had a breakthrough,” he repeated, “earlier this morning.”

“A breakthrough? In therapy?”

Really? Could it be true?

“Yes,” he nodded vigorously. “At my session with Dr. Spocks. I told you we’ve been doing EMDR, trying to see if it could help with my—our—situation.”

I nodded, still eyeing him closely. Ben had spoken to me before about EMDR, a remarkable form of psychotherapy that could potentially help heal his trauma. The trauma of my C-section. The trauma that had undeniably caused a rift in our relationship. In our marriage. He told me he was willing to try anything that could help alleviate his issue. Ben hadn’t spoken much more about it until now, though. In that moment, my hopes increased tenfold.

“And?”

He responded by gathering me into his arms. I caught his eyes, encouraging him to continue. To my astonishment, he did. Ben’s lips met mine, fervently—thirstily—like a man who had been lost, wandering through a desert, and happened upon a flourishing oasis.

“And I think I‘m ready, Rey,” he mumbled against my mouth as his hand raked through my chestnut waves. He grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked back gently so I could offer my neck to be devoured by his soft, plump lips. “I’m ready.”

My mind spun wildly. I could barely process this incredulous turn of events. Even though my brain was lagging, my body was not, and it responded favorably to Ben’s kisses and caresses. I moaned as my hands automatically reached for the hem of his undershirt, and I pulled it up over his head, tossing it to the side.

“You’re… ready… to… ugh!” I gasped in disbelief, short of breath.

“Yes,” he breathed urgently, and pushed me away from the door. I grunted when my backside slammed against his desk. “And not because you’re ovulating.” His right hand stroked down the length of my body, then went underneath my white sundress, skimming up the inside of my left leg. “Not because I want to make a baby.” I felt his fingers reach the apex of my thighs and a hungry moan escaped my throat. “But because I wanna make love to you… and I wanna make my wife come.”

I was rendered speechless, like I got the wind knocked out of me. I didn’t know what the heck happened in therapy that morning, but I was fucking ecstatic that it did. Thank God and Jesus H. Christ for Dr. Pandora Spocks!

“Oh, Ben,” was the only thing I could muster as his fingers continued their journey north, grazing my clit through my underwear, slowly inching his way closer to the scar resting above its waistband.

“I noticed you’ve been more distant lately,” he acknowledged, teasing me as his fingers lazily traced patterns over my sex. A guttural sound emitted from deep within me, one of fervent desperation. “I know it’s my fault, Rey. I’m sorry.”

I wanted to apologise to him, too. I wanted to tell him the truth about _why_ I had been so distant as of late. I wanted to admit to the affair right then and there, before things went any further, but Ben continued to speak, adding, “I know now that you won’t break.”

“No, I won’t break,” I insisted with reassuring ardor instead of apologising.

“You’re not fragile,” Ben said, suddenly spinning me around, bending me over his desk, and a delicious ache rose inside me. Oh _yes_ , I always loved it when he shagged me hard from behind.

“No,” I squeaked from below, inhaling sharply. I should have confessed. Yes, I absolutely should have… but I didn’t. Instead, I pushed and rubbed my bum against his groin. “I’m not fragile. I promise.”

Ben grunted pleasurably from above, and I felt his cock stiffen.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Ben said more to himself than to me, presumably to assuage his irrational fear.

“You could never hurt me,” I assured my husband.

I, on the other hand… I _could_ hurt him. In fact, I already had. And he didn’t even know it yet.

“You really think that, sweetheart?” His fingers found my throbbing center again, and he teasingly brushed my sensitive nub through my cotton knickers. Christ, it felt _so_ good. I’d missed his touch so much.

“I think… you should stop talking,” I hissed, grinding against his hand and crotch, “and start fucking, darling.”

Ben huffed out a shaky breath, replying with a low, “Yes, dear,” when we were both startled by the sudden blare of a ringing phone.

_My_ phone, I realised as it continued to belt out its raucous marimba ringtone. I begrudgingly fished it out of my dress’s pocket, wanting to shut it off. But  then I saw who the caller was, and I was gobsmacked.

“Kylie?” I read aloud in confusion. I didn’t remember ever adding in that contact, let alone knowing someone with that name.

“Who’s Kylie?” Ben asked as I answered the phone out of morbid curiosity.

“I dunno—”

“Hi, mommy,” a deep, husky voice greeted me.

I pushed off the desk brusquely, enough to make Ben almost fall on his arse. My hand flew to cover my mouth, stifling a shocked gasp.

Fucking bloody hell!

Why the hell was this idiot calling me?! _Now_ of all times, too!

“Kyl—” I caught myself, hastily enunciating, “—ie?”

We’d had an agreement: I would come to him whenever his… services were desired. We were never to contact one another, _ever_. Especially not by phone! That was how people got _caught_. At least, from what I had seen in movies and TV shows. Not like I was an expert at any of this… infidelity shite.

“You forgot your house key, mommy,” Kylo told me. “It’s right here. With me.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, moving even further away from Ben. He was staring at me, perplexed. Thankfully, he got distracted when his office phone rang. Ben went over to pick up the receiver, delving into what seemed like an important conversation almost immediately.

“Your house key. I found it,” I could practically hear the smug grin on Kylo’s face. “On my bed. It must’ve slipped out of your pocket or something.”

“You and I both know that’s not true,” I rebutted through clenched teeth. My keys were all on one keychain, which I always kept safely tucked inside my purse. They were never on my person.

“Please stay longer,” Kylo practically begged me earlier that morning as I quickly got dressed. “There’s so much more fun to be had, Rey.”

“Some of us have responsibilities to attend to, Kylo,” I shot back, hastening to leave. “Besides, don’t you have to work today?”

“So when will I see you again?”

“When I need you,” I answered coolly.

“Soon, then,” I heard Kylo say under his breath just as I exited his apartment.

I didn’t give his reply much thought… until now. I went over to grab my purse, and retrieved my keys from it’s messy depths. My stomach dropped when I saw that my house key was indeed missing. The dodgy bastard must’ve taken it while I was attending to Hannah. “You motherf—”

“Fucker?” Kylo laughed. “Why, yes. Yes, I am a motherfucker.” His voice dropped several octaves and he whispered smugly, “And you know you fucking _love_ it… how I fuck you, mommy.”

I recalled with graphic detail what we had done that morning. How dirty, how disgusting, and how _hot_ it was. I was ashamed how quickly my blood heated at the memory, rushing inward to my core, making my limbs tingle. “Um, I… uh…” Shit, what were we even talking about?

“I’m gonna take my lunch break in about thirty minutes. You can pick it up then. I’ll be waiting for you,” Kylo continued, lust obvious in his tone.

Oh right! The sodding key!

“No,” I countered, trying to regain both composure and control. No way was I going to meet him at his place. I knew exactly what was going to happen if I went there, and I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want to cheat on Ben again. This had to stop.

“What?” asked Kylo.

“I said no,” I restated firmly. “I’ll be waiting outside the Versace mansion so _you’re_ going to come to _me_.” I figured that was a safe enough place to see him since the mansion was a public place, popular amongst tourists. It was only about an eight minute walk from where Kylo lived… and thankfully, nowhere near his bed. If he thought he was gonna have his way with me again, he was gravely mistaken.

“Ooh, so bossy,” he tsked playfully. “You’re so fucking sexy when you’re like that... see you in a few, mommy.”

He hung up before I could say anything else, which was probably for the best. I whirled around to find Ben still talking on the phone, shirtless behind his desk. When he lifted his gaze, I mouthed, “I gotta go.”

“Hold on a second,” he told the person on the other end of the line, placing the call on hold.

“I’m sorry, I have to go. I somehow left my key at the store so I have to go back down to South Beach. Then I have to get back home and do the laundry, and the bathrooms need to be cleaned, and Hannah has to eat, and I have to make us dinner and—”

“Don’t worry about dinner,” Ben came over to me and held my hands in his. “I’ll get us something.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, sure,” he answered. “And maybe… maybe we can pick up where we left off after dinner? Once Hannah goes to sleep?”

“Alright,” I smiled broadly. “Yeah, I’d like that very much, actually.”

“Okay, great,” Ben stroked my cheek, then kissed my forehead. “I can’t wait. I’m counting down the minutes.” He turned around, and put his shirt and jacket back on before he went to sit behind his desk.

“And I’m counting down the seconds,” I said, turning to leave his office. As I opened the door, I called over my shoulder, “I love you.”

“I love you, too, sweetheart,” I heard him say before he resumed his phone call.

Those words rang sweetly in my ear, and I replayed them over and over in my head as I drove to meet Kylo Ren. How exactly did one break up with their side chick? Well, I suppose I was gonna find that out soon.

“This has to end,” I rehearsed with Hannah in the car. “You and I—we’re… we’re done.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh darn it! Rey was cockblocked... by Kylo, no less LOL! 
> 
> Okay y'all... so what do you think? 
> 
> Is Ben truly over his trauma?  
> Is Rey really going to end things with her side chick?  
> What do you think is gonna happen next?  
> What do you *want* to happen next? 
> 
> Don't keep it a secret! Let your girl know ;) 
> 
> If you want more updates, hearing from you helps me out so much! Comments and feedback are always welcome! 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading!!!
> 
> PS: If you're in the mood for a good read, I highly recommend ["The Hypnotist"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14566932/chapters/33660129%22) by Pandora_Spocks. It's got Reylo, and EMDR, and even reincarnation! Click on the title if you haven't read it yet and remember to leave kudos/comments if you enjoyed it! ;)


	6. (You Drive Me) Crazy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my darlings! 
> 
> It's been so long hasn't it? OMG, I'm so sorry! I have been in such a writing funk lately. I've had this chapter written out for a while and I dunno, I just have been having a lot of self doubt lately, but at the behest of lovely ladies (who have AWEOME FICS! Click on their names to check 'em out!) [Mrs. Violet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsViolet/pseuds/MrsViolet) and [Pandora Spocks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandora_Spocks/pseuds/Pandora_Spocks) (and a lovely Anon on tumblr!), I decided to say SCREW IT! I'm gonna post it and just pray y'all like it *nervous chuckling* 
> 
> So without further ado, welcome back to my story! :D

* * *

 “Done?” Kylo asked, slight confusion lifting his dark brow.

“Jesus Christ, Kylo!” I swore, jumping in the driver’s seat of my car. I hadn’t noticed when Kylo approached my open window. My Subaru Forester was parked across the street from the Villa Casa Casuarina, also known as the Versace Mansion. It was a miracle I found a good parking spot to wait for Kylo’s arrival so I decided to practice on my break-up speech some more. All I ended up doing, though, was repeat the word “done” over and over to myself, hoping it would help prep me to… to tell Kylo that our little fling was over.

Finished.

Kaput.

Finito.

Done.

Done, done, done.

“You sounded like a broken record,” Kylo guffawed, tossing his head back, then ran his long fingers through his raven-black hair. “Wait, were you trying to sing _The Lone Ranger_ theme song? _Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun!_ ” He laughed at his own joke so obnoxiously that it made me want to smack him, but I didn’t because I got distracted.

By his pecs.

Shit.

Kylo was shirtless.

Fucking shirtless and looking like a delectable snack.

Scratch that, he looked like a finger-licking good _meal_.

My jaw reflexively dropped at the salacious sight.

Memories from when I first met my husband Ben flooded my brain… of how much of a stud muffin he was. Ben was such a gym rat. He ran religiously, he lifted weights without fail, and damn, he was so fucking fit. So _ripped_. I married a stud muffin and now… well, now Ben was more muffin than stud. Not that he had gotten fat, no. Ben was simply… softer, and slightly fuller than when I first met him. It was the kind of body one obtained after marriage and a baby.

And Kylo, well…

Kylo was fucking _shredded_.

It was hypnotic, my eyes fixated on his striking physique. He only had on black swim shorts, sandals—oh dear God, his naked feet—and dark sunglasses that made him look even more alluring than usual.

Appetizing.

Yes, definitely more appetizing.

 _Tempting_.

My mouth and throat were drier than an arid desert. Licking my parched lips—fuck, when did I get so thirsty?—I tried and failed miserably to compensate for the lack of dampness.

Lack of moisture.

Lack of—damn it! I hastily squeezed my legs together once I realised exactly _where_ all the wetness had gone.  

“H-how are you still so pale?” I jabbered, attempting to quell the inconvenient disturbance brewing between my thighs. It didn’t help when I gave every inch of exposed creamy skin another lingering once-over. Damn, Kylo Ren was _hot_. “You live in the Sunshine State!”

“It’s a gift, really,” Kylo rested his arm on the open window sill, leaning closer into my personal space.  “One of my… _many_ gifts.”

“Um…” I knew exactly what other _gifts_ he was referring to. Cheeky bastard. I saw the way he thoroughly enjoyed my lecherous stare, the blatant intensity with which I was ogling, and I knew I should stop, but I just _couldn’t_.

“So are you done?” Kylo’s inquiry broke into my reverie. Did he mean if I was done staring?

“Done with what?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.” He shot me a half-smile. “You were the one repeating that word a thousand times.”

“Oh, I, uh…” This was my chance! I only needed to allow passage from my mind to lips those two little, yet loaded, words: _we’re done_.

That’s what I should’ve said.

That’s what I wanted to say, but instead I blurted out, “Where’s my key, Kylo?”  
“Your key?” Kylo creased his sweaty forehead. “What key?”

“Cut the shite,” I admonished, thankful anger was giving me back proper focus. “I don’t have time to play fucking games. You stole my key and I want it back! Right. Now.”

“Okay, but what if _I’m_ in the mood to play?” he countered mischievously.

I growled, annoyed, but Kylo continued before I could yell at him again.

“Just answer a question for me, mommy.”

“A question?”

“Yes, one little question. If you answer correctly, I’ll give you your key back.”

“And if I don’t answer correctly, what then?”

“Then you have to do something for me.”

I had absolutely no time for this rubbish, but I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that wanted to play Kylo’s game. Something told me I wouldn’t lose either way.

“Alright,” I relented, though not unwillingly. “What’s your question?”

“This place that you wanted us to meet—” he pointed at the luxury boutique hotel across the street from us, and I turned my head, shifting my gaze to focus on the opulent villa, “—it was the home of fashion designer Gianni Versace.”

My eyes dropped, staring at the steps that led to the entrance. The very steps in which a horrific tragedy occurred. “He was murdered there,” I whispered as chills ran down my spine.

“Yeah, he was. So my question to you is...” I felt Kylo move closer into my personal bubble, and I didn’t mind it one bit when his hot breath tickled my ear as he asked softly, “ _Who_ murdered him?”

“He was murdered by…” I racked my brain, sifting through years of trivial information stored there. I was only three years old at the time, but I heard of the gruesome tale once I moved to Miami. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember the actual name of Versace’s killer for the life of me. I whined pettishly, not wanting to give up but knowing I had to because time was ticking, and I had errands to run before Ben came back home. “I don’t know who murdered him,” I sighed in defeat. “Do you?”

“Of course I do,” Kylo huffed, blowing some more of his hot breath onto me. The skin on my neck prickled with goose pimples. “Gianni Versace was shot dead in broad daylight on those very steps by Andrew Cunanan.”

“Right,” I exhaled, shaking my head. “Now I remember.” I turned back to face him and was surprised to find exactly how close he was to me. Our noses touched and our lips brushed swiftly before I moved back slightly. “Do you know why he killed him?” I don’t know why I asked Kylo that. Probably another attempt to extinguish the blazing fire in my aching core.

“There are theories,” Kylo replied, not budging a single inch. “But I believe Versace and Cunanan were lovers at one point.”

“Really?” I made a mental note to look more into the assassination of Gianni Versace.

“Mm-hmm,” Kylo nodded, and the tip of his nose rubbed against mine. “Isn’t it funny how relationships can change like that?” His tone lowered. “One minute you’re in the throes of passion with someone and the next… you’re killed by them.” There was a cautionary, almost sinister inflection to his voice as he continued, “It makes you wonder, right? What could drive someone to commit such a monstrous act? What could turn one into a… monster?”

“Perhaps—” I croaked, then cleared my throat as both my hands gripped the edge of my seat so hard I knew my knuckles were white, “—monsters are born that way.” I stared back at my reflection on Kylo’s sunglasses. I could see my eyes had gone wide. Fearfully wide.

Kylo scoffed. “Sometimes monsters are created.”

A scream came from behind, startling us both.

“Hannah!” I was grateful for her sudden outburst as it made Kylo step back and give me some breathing space. “Listen, Kylo, I really have to go. I’m done playing games! I need my key now.”

“Rules are rules, Rey,” Kylo’s demeanor softened back to his usual playful smugness. The switch was abrupt, unnerving me. Until he flashed me that fucking disarming smile of his and just like that, I was under his spell once more. “You owe me a favour.”

“Kylo, I already told you I have to go home.”

“Chill, Rey. I just need a lift.”

“A lift?”

“Yeah, a ride. You have to head north to go back home, right?” His comment made me squint. How did he know I have to go north? That was quite presumptuous of him seeing as he didn’t know where I lived. For fuck’s sake, he didn’t even know my last name because I had never given it to him. I believed the less we knew about one another, the better. “I need to go north, too,” he continued. “Be a doll and drop me off at Haulover Beach.”

“I’m not your fucking Uber, Kylo,” I hissed.

“Come on, Rey. Don’t be like that,” he coaxed as his fingers lightly stroked up the bare skin of my arm. He left a trail of sizzling heat in his wake. It was a slow, delicate burn, and I held my breath to keep from moaning. “Please?”

“If-if I take you there—” I stammered as he reached my shoulder and his fingertip ran along my collarbone; I leaned ever so slightly into his touch, trying my hardest not to shiver, “—you’ll give me my key back?”

“Yes,” he stated simply, his finger now headed south to trace where the deep V neckline of my sundress exposed the valley between my breasts. His caress exerted the perfect amount of pressure, firm, but gentle, causing a red flush of excitement to bloom across my chest and cheeks.

“Okay,” I acquiesced against my better judgement, teeth digging into my lower lip. I nodded for Kylo to enter my car. He stopped his teasing caress, his sultry mouth pulling into a smug smile.

“Thanks, Rey,” he whispered lowly, planting a swift kiss a little ways off the corner of my mouth.

I mewled in need, growing increasingly more frustrated as my eyes followed Kylo, yearning for some satisfaction. Some _release_. He made his way over to the passenger side, flashing his teeth when he took his seat. He turned back, his face lighting up when he laid eyes on Hannah.

“Hi baby,” he cooed, waving to my daughter as he put on his seatbelt.

It was then that I noticed he was carrying a black duffel bag. My curiosity piqued, I queried as I pulled away from Versace’s mansion, “Why do you have to go to Haulover Beach?”

“That’s for me to know,” he stopped playing with Hannah to address me, “and for you to find out.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not playing any more games with you, Kylo. I’m dropping you off and that’s that.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to play?” he asked, his voice dropping to the seductive timbre my body always responded to.

“I—,” I stilled when he placed his hand on my knee and… oh no.

It was starting.

I felt the hormones rushing in, getting heavy, making me feel heady. I wanted to slap his hand away and push him out of my car then. I really did want to… but I also really didn’t. This happened every single time. Him driving me crazy, driving me wild. The tension was building, killing me slowly… as well as thrilling me.

Shit.

I wanted more.

I needed more.

God, what was he waiting for?

“I’m thinking,” his hand squeezed my knee before sliding higher up my thigh, “that you _do_ wanna play, Rey.”

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, and held my breath.

“You wanna have some fun, don’t you, mommy?”

I gulped loudly, knowing full well I should tell Kylo to stop. But I neither said nor did anything. I stayed frozen in my seat with my eyes glued to the road ahead. Kylo interpreted my silence and stillness as permission to carry on. A part of me—the reckless part—was relieved that he did.

His hand kneaded my right thigh, deep and long, and out of the corner of my eye I saw him lean closer to me. I attempted to stifle moans of pleasure but it was futile, especially when Kylo’s finger finally found that delicate spot that was crying out for attention.

“ _Yes_ ,” the word slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it. Kylo took this to mean I wanted him to keep going, of course–okay, fine, a small part of me _wanted_ him to—and my body betrayed me further as my legs parted for him.

I glanced down quickly, almost losing control of the car when I saw Kylo’s head was in my lap. Pushing my dress completely out of the way, he bombarded my right thigh with lustful, wet kisses.

At a stop light we made haste, removing my knickers.

“Gee up, Kylo,” I found myself urging.

I angled my bottom, lifting my right leg so that he’d have less difficulty in this awkward, but hot, position. Every time we’d come to a stop, Kylo busied himself with his mouth, lapping greedily, sucking heartily, as I garbled unintelligible sounds, nearing my release.

_HONK!_

“Fuck!” I’d cursed everytime the light turned green and I had to resume driving at the behest of an impatient car behind me. Kylo would take advantage, lifting his head to get some air. When his smooth tongue wasn’t working wonders on me, his fingers would be working diligently to bring me closer to the pinnacle of ecstasy.

At one traffic light, we stopped beside a truck and I glanced sideways to see the elderly (and appalled) driver catch us in our lewd act. I should’ve been embarrassed, but I wasn’t. If anything, it aroused me further.

_BEEP!_

“Don’t get distracted, mommy,” Kylo cautioned as his index and middle fingers pushed deep inside me, his lips smearing a vile mix of my juices and his saliva where he kissed my thigh. “Eyes on the road. Keep driving.”

“ _Oh-kay_ ,” I moaned as I stepped on the gas pedal, looking into my rearview mirror to take a peak at Hannah. She was cooing softly, entertaining herself with her teething ring.

The rest of the drive was a deliciously agonizing torture, moments of pleasure having to abruptly stop so I could resume driving. There were a few close calls where I’d lose control of the vehicle when my body would almost climax, wracking with heat and about to combust. The sensible thing to have done would’ve been to pause our excursion and let Kylo finish me off properly, but time was not on my side, and my brain? It was nowhere near capable of thinking about any sensibilities at the moment.  

Yet somehow we reached our destination, Haulover Beach, and miraculously there was a parking spot available.

“Bloody hell, yes!” I bellowed as I swerved into the tight parking space. “I can finally come,” I sputtered in between shallow breaths.

Just as I turned off the engine, Kylo lifted his head and moved away from me, muttering, “Oh good, we’re here.” He wiped his mouth on his arm, grabbing his duffel bag before opening his door and promptly exited my car. “Thanks, Rey!” He waved goodbye as he walked in front of my car, and I caught his eyebrows arch with complacency. I sat there, sexually frustrated and stunned into silence as I watched him walk further into the distance.

Walk further away from me.

“What the fuck!” I fumed, pushing down my dress before storming out of my car. “Asshole! Couldn’t at least finish what he fucking started!” I opened the back door and grabbed Hannah, then slammed the door shut. “And he didn’t give me my stupid key, ugh!” I practically sprinted to catch up to Mr. Fucking Tease.

It wasn’t until smooth pavement turned into dense sand underneath my feet that I came across a sign that made me hesitate, contemplating if I should proceed to where Kylo was heading.

 

**ATTENTION: BEYOND THIS POINT YOU MAY ENCOUNTER NUDE BATHERS**

 

“Fucking hell,” I whispered, my features tightening as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. “It’s a nude beach.”

  



	7. Cake by the Ocean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo!!! It’s been a long time, eh? 
> 
> Sorry!! It was my New Year’s resolution to write and update more frequently but I’m trying my best, y’all! I’m trying! 
> 
> Today was the coldest day like EVER where I live so what a perfect chapter to post to help heat things up! ;) 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy...

* * *

 

“What a cute baby!” a beachgoer yelled as I made haste to find wherever the hell Kylo went. I didn’t stop my steps, merely acknowledging the compliment with a curt nod, averting my gaze. I did not want to see any naked bodies so I kept my eyeline forward while also blocking Hannah’s peripheral vision with my hand.

 

She was only nine months old and in all likelihood won’t remember anything she sees or does at this age, but still, as her mother I felt obligated to protect her innocence. Well, at least as much as I could. Sometimes she inadvertently saw me engage in indecent acts whenever I was with Kylo, but I tried my best to be discreet around her. That’s all a parent can do, right? Their best.

 

The sand was hot beneath my bare feet and not entirely unpleasant. I’d removed my sandals in order to tread faster and after a few minutes of walking, I caught a glimpse of Kylo’s back a couple yards ahead.

 

“Finally!”

 

I sighed when Kylo stopped walking, which I was grateful for since I could catch up to him. “Now to get my key and get the hell out of here.” I readjusted Hannah, balancing her on my hip before calling out, “Kylo!”

 

He whirled about and when his eyes confirmed that it was me trying to get his attention, the world’s smuggest smile appeared on his face.   

 

“Rey!” His smirk grew even wider when I reached him. “So nice of you to join me! I had hoped you would.”

 

“Of course you did, you daft twat!” I seethed as Hannah babbled something incoherent. No doubt she was as irate as I was. “You did this on purpose!”

 

“Did what?” Kylo feigned innocence.

 

“What a load of bollocks!” I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “You know you’ve been trying to get me to come here all morning. You said you wanted to take me to the beach when I mentioned that my husband never takes me. You said, and I quote, ‘There’s so much more fun to be had.’ Is that not right?”

 

“And what if it is?” Kylo jutted out his angular jaw. “Is it so bad to want to spend more time with you?”

 

“Yes!” I all but screeched. “I told you I _can’t_. I have responsibilities, Kylo. How many times do I have to tell you? I can only see you when I’m able to. Besides, the more time we spend together, the higher the chance of us getting caught. Is that what you want? You want us to get caught? Do you want this to end?”

 

“No!” Kylo screamed, taking my shoulders, clutching them tightly. “No, I don’t want this to end.”

 

The feeling was mutual and my shoulders slumped in shame. I wished I were strong enough to do what needed to be done. To end my affair with Kylo. This was another opportune moment. I should’ve told him that we were done, but I didn’t. I knew that this had to end, but I just couldn’t do it.

 

Why couldn’t I just quit him?

 

Why couldn’t I stop this?  

 

It was blatantly obvious to me then.

 

It was because _I_ didn’t want to.

 

I did not want to let him go.

 

I wanted the best of both worlds.

 

I wanted Ben. I loved Ben and _only_ Ben, of that I was 100% certain. Yet I also had this inexplicable, _insatiable_ desire for Kylo. The desire to do things with Kylo I couldn’t do with Ben. Again I reasoned that what Ben didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.

 

God, what the fuck was wrong with me?

 

“Then don’t push your luck, mate,” I warned my illicit lover. “Don’t be greedy. Don’t ask for more than what I can give. Be grateful. Be patient. And oh, one more thing,”—I took a step forward to place a hand on his cheek, his massive hands still gripping my shoulders—“give me back my goddamn key.” I gave his cheek a light smack, firm enough to let him know I wasn’t fucking around.

 

“Can I at least—”

 

“No.”

 

He exhaled stiffly. “Fine,” he grudgingly conceded. Letting go of my right shoulder, his hand delved inside the duffel bag he was carrying. I tapped my foot, waiting impatiently while he took his merry time trying to retrieve my house key when we both got distracted by a heavily accented voice.

 

“ _Desculpe._ Excuse me?”

 

“Oh dear God,” I mumbled, quickly averting my gaze, looking anywhere but at the absolutely drop dead gorgeous stark _naked_ woman at our side.

 

“Sorry, I try find shower to rinse but I no find one anywhere,” the modelesque brunette with sultry green eyes explained. “Do you know where one?”

 

I shook my head vigorously, hoping that would make the unabashed Brazilian leave but then Kylo had to open his big fat mouth.

 

Mmm, that mouth… those plump lips… the things he could do with them. I bit the inside of my cheek, attempting to stop myself from replaying the lewdest of memories in my mind.

 

“Yeah, I know where one is,” Kylo answered. “It’s on the way to my favorite spot, which I’m heading towards, actually. I can show you the way, if you’d like.”

 

I snapped my head to the side, shooting daggers at Kylo. He avoided eye contact with me as a cheeky smile spread across his handsome features.  

 

“Ah yes, _obrigada_ ,” the beautiful Latina squealed, wringing excess water from her long, wet hair before thankfully wrapping a towel around her splendid physique. “Thank you!”

 

“Of course,” Kylo said as he let go of me, sticking his arm out. “Right this way.”

 

I stood there with Hannah, gaping like a blithering idiot as the two walked away from us when Kylo suddenly called over his shoulder, “Come on, Rey!”

 

“Coming!”

 

I ran towards them as jealousy spread like wildfire within me. I was like a petulant toddler that didn’t wish to share her favourite doll with her fellow peers.

 

Kylo was _my_ toy.

 

I inserted myself between the two and to my pleasure, Kylo put his arm around me, pulling me to his side. Turning to face the woman, I smiled with such immense smugness that it physically pained my cheeks.

 

_See? My toy, not yours._

 

The South American bombshell grinned back in return, but the smile never truly reached her eyes. I could tell she was irked by Kylo’s lack of attention. People dressed so provocatively down here, leaving little to the imagination. Despite the suffocating heat, I always managed avoiding looking too much like a tart. The vibe on this beach, though, was especially uninhibited.

 

As we continued our trek in relative silence–Hannah would randomly babble and yell at times, as babies tend to do–it struck me then how even though there was a slew of beautiful bodies to ogle at, Kylo’s eyes were fixed on me and only me. That made me feel good about myself. He always had a way of doing that. It was part of what made him so addicting; it incited a small fire deep within me.

 

“There’s the showers,” Kylo announced abruptly, pointing. It was clear he wished to go no further.

 

“Thank you,” the buxom woman whispered seductively, batting her long lashes in one final attempt to garner Kylo’s attention.

 

“You’re welcome,” said Kylo curtly before ambling away, dragging me along with him. He leaned down to my ear and said, “I’d love to show you and Hannah my favourite spot. It won’t take too long. It’s literally right over there. Please, Rey?”

 

“Okay,” I agreed, if only to see the pretty woman’s face contort with offense as the three of us left her in the dust, alone and rejected. I couldn’t help but laugh at that.

 

“What’s so funny?” Kylo asked, and I almost believed his obliviousness.

 

I didn’t answer him, continuing to snicker all the way to Kylo’s special spot. When we arrived, my jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe we were still in the state of Florida. The crescent stretch of beach was secluded, shielded by a line of palm trees. It was a haven away from the crowds of bathers and surfers, the white sand powder-soft beneath my toes and the waters a glorious turquoise blue.

 

“Wow,” I marvelled at the astonishing sight. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it, Hannah?” I swore I heard her jabber in agreement before she shrieked excitedly. In the corner of my eye, I saw Kylo pull out an oversized beach towel from his duffel bag, placing it on the sand. As soon as Hannah saw him sit on it she demanded to be let down.

 

“Alright, alright,” I coaxed, bending down to sit, too.

 

“Do you want to build a sand castle, Hannah?” Kylo asked. She smiled and squealed, a rope of saliva escaping her mouth. Hannah had yet to learn how to crawl so I situated her beside Kylo and the three of us got our hands dirty, laughing and playing under the shade of a palm tree waving in the ocean breeze.

 

The sea whipped against the shore as the three of us frolicked, giggling incessantly. Hannah was enjoying herself immensely and seeing her smile and laugh with pure joy, it made my heart swell. I’d always wanted to spend family time at the beach with Ben, but he hated it. He steered clear of the sun and sand as much as a corrupt politician would avoid indictment.

 

“I hate the beach,” Ben disclosed once. “There’s so many pretentious people, it’s so stifling, the salt water stinks and don’t even get me started on the sand. It’s coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.”

 

I gazed at Hannah’s sleeping form, laying on her belly atop the beach towel, her face angelic and serene. She had played to her heart’s content and it wore her out. I came to the conclusion that the beach wasn’t as awful a place as Ben made it out to be. I wished he would accompany us one day, especially to this special spot. I was quite certain that he’d love it. I grinned mischievously, recalling how it’d been a fantasy of mine to have sex on a beach someday. I always wondered what that would be like… Completely wrapped in my naughty thoughts, I failed to notice when Kylo’s arm came around my waist. I yelped in surprise when he pulled me into his lap so there was no space at all–not even air–between our bodies.

 

My back was flush against his chest and I stiffened when I felt the bulge that was tenting his swim trunks. “Kylo, no. I–” Shit! I suddenly remembered I wasn’t wearing any underwear.

 

“Relax, Rey,” Kylo allayed, trying to ease my tense muscles with the deep, soothing timbre of his voice. I was trembling. This was bad. This was very bad.

 

“It’s just us now,” Kylo continued in a calm, seductive tone. “Let it go, Rey. Let everything go.  Your fears, your guilt, your shame, all of it… let them die. No, no. You’re still holding on. Let go! Let it all fall to the very depths of the Atlantic.” He ran his fingers through my hair, then grabbed my chin, angling my face towards him, his tongue seeking entry against my lips. My control was slipping through my fingers like grains of sand in an hourglass.

 

“Kylo, I… I…” I started panting. _I can’t do this._ That’s what I should’ve fucking said. I knew it. My brain knew it, my heart knew it, my soul knew it… but my body… my body was aching, yearning, especially when Kylo stated, “You told me you’ve always wondered what it’d be like. Don’t you wanna know, Rey?”

 

I didn’t reply, but I knew what he was referring to. I was a freaking idiot the day I let it slip to Kylo about my fantasy. My breath came in heaves as I thought about my fantasy becoming reality, and I coughed to help regulate my erratic breathing. There was a swell of power deep within my core at the way he stared at me, like I was the most beautiful woman in the world.

 

Little old, plain me.

 

Too skinny.

 

Not enough junk in the trunk.

 

Small, almost nonexistent breasts.

 

I had no curves.

 

My face was dotted with freckles.

 

I had an upturned nose and a too-big forehead.

 

I had an ugly scar running across my lower abdomen.

 

I had stretch marks.

 

I could go on and on with my list of faults, but the way Kylo looked at me, the way he was admiring me, he had me believing I was the most desired woman in the universe. God, it was so fucking _sexy_ and turning me on to no end. And fuck, did it help drive away my hesitance, the sane part of me that kept screaming, _Don’t do this!_

 

I swore never to judge an addict ever again. It’s so easy to judge when you’re not in that person’s shoes, when you’re the outsider looking in. Try switching sides and you’ll see.

 

You’ll see how it is. How you’re able to keep doing what you’re doing, consequences be damned. How you know you’re going down in flames, but still want to see this thing through. We all have self destructive tendencies. I’m no exception, but I never indulged them. Not even once. Until I met Kylo. Why? Simply put, I believed I owed it to myself to have some fun. Yes, I knew I was playing with fire, but I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t like the thrill of it. For a brief moment, reality slipped away and I was no longer Ben’s wife.

 

I was not Hannah’s mother.

 

I was just Rey.

 

And do you know what I, Rey, wanted in that very instant?

 

To fuck Kylo bloody Ren.

 

His cock strained against his shorts beneath me and a fire blazed low in my belly. My nipples were hard pebbles against the cotton of my sundress. A trickle of arousal spilled, and I was pretty sure Kylo had felt the dampness, too.

 

“Oh, very nice,” he purred in my ear, confirming my suspicion. I leaked some more, quivering slightly as I felt his erection prod against my arse. His hand landed softly on my right leg and he dragged his long fingers slowly up my thigh, heading toward my seeping center.

 

I should’ve left before things escalated any further.

 

I should’ve stood up, grabbed Hannah and flee.

 

Of course I didn’t, though. I couldn’t. Especially not when his fingers finally reached my yielding sex.

 

“Mmm,” I moaned daintily, leaning into his exquisite touch. I should’ve put a stop to it. The rational part of my brain was screaming, trying desperately to knock some sense into me. There was no time for this, I knew, but it didn’t stop me from ordering Kylo to remove his trunks.

 

“ _Now_ ,” I urged raspily. He obeyed, ridding himself of his bottoms with effortless ease, clinging onto me as he bunched my dress up around my waist. And then I found myself saying without pause, “I need you inside me.”

 

Kylo pulled away his teasing fingers, choosing to fill his large hands with my humble breasts instead, pushing them together, kneading them roughly before pulling my nipples through my dress.

 

Rolling my hips, I pressed down against him as he rubbed his cock against my sex, teasing me, tantalizing me with its swollen head but never granting the pleasure of entering me, of filling me. I pulsed with desperate need.

 

“Fuck my pussy, Kylo.”

 

“Is your pussy hot enough for me, Rey?”

 

His touch sent a jolt of desire through me like an electric current. I quailed with anticipation, whimpering pitifully in response.

 

“What was that?”

 

“Yes!” I breathed urgently.

 

“You think it’s wet enough for me, mommy?”

 

“Yes, _yes_!” I gritted through clenched teeth. “Fuck my hot, wet pussy now… _son_!”

 

He stilled for a second, then growled. I knew it drove him wild when I called him that. Kylo quickly guided me into a different position. I was now on all fours with my arse high in the air and my elbows resting on the beach towel. I clutched at the towel and it wrinkled into my fists as he drove into me, this angle providing a mind-boggling sensation that I swore I could feel in every single one of my cells. His thick cock pushed my walls apart, filling me deliciously, reaching a place that only Ben ever had.

 

The fact that at any given moment an unsuspecting paddler could walk in on our debauched display simply added an extra _oomph_ to it all and I moaned gutturally, lost in pure bliss. Pleasure sliced through my body, the feeling so strong it almost made my knees buckle.

 

As he ploughed his cock in and out of me, I surprised myself when I trilled, “Yeah! Oh yes. Fuck my cunt. Fuck it real good.” I absolutely despised the c-word and yet here I was using it to talk dirty. I had to admit that it did make things even more gratifying, being naughty like that.

 

“You’re a dirty little mommy, aren’t you?”

 

His voice was husky, desiccated by the salty sea air. He teased my orgasm out of me, building and drawing it out so deliciously it was blurring my vision.

 

“Yes,” I croaked in between thrusts. “Yes, I am.”

 

Everything started to tingle violently, splendidly, as I finally reached that peak of pleasure, the throbs of my powerful climax making me come so hard that it made my ears ring and my heart burst in my chest.

 

Kylo came, too, his exploited cock spasmed inside me, making my own orgasm linger even more intensely. Once the convulsions died down and we caught our breaths, Kylo slipped out of me. Just as I was about to smooth down my dress, Kylo suddenly spun me around, whipping my dress off over my head. My lengthy legs instinctively wrapped around his torso and he laid me back down gently.

 

_God, he’s so strong_ , I thought as I admired his defined biceps and chiseled chest. I coloured as I saw him appraise my naked body as well.

 

“I want to see your face when you come,” he eventually said.

 

“Well, you missed it by that much,” I teased, gesturing with my thumb and forefinger.

 

“I guess I’ll just have to make you come again.”

 

“Again?”

 

I gasped as he slammed into me, giving me no time to brace myself as he entered me with one savage and delectable thrust. How did he get hard again so quickly? That turned me on to no end and I was ready for another go, only this time I wished to be on top. But before I could verbalise my request, Kylo thrusted hard, pushing me off the towel completely and onto the hot, grainy sand. Oddly, the warmth and rough texture felt good beneath my bare back and bottom.

 

“You like that, mommy?” Kylo asked after another powerful thrust. His voice was raw and primal.

 

“Yes,” I answered truthfully through gritted teeth. “Yes!”

 

My affirmations encouraged him further and my breasts bounced lewdly with every single one of his measured strokes, spreading my lips wider so that my clit was practically bulging out.

 

“Gah!” I cried out, bucking my hips with abandon as I clutched onto his shoulders as he continued to fuck me, filling me completely with each succulent thrust. I relished every single twitch, every single throb of his dick.

 

We were both lost, succumbing to the illicit and violent passion between us. Kylo could do anything to me, anything at all, and I knew I would yield. I would surrender just to get that euphoric fix. Just so I could reach the highest of highs and fucking love every single second of it.

 

My legs quivered as I clenched myself around his cock, each thrust making me inch closer and closer.

 

Kylo pistoned into me over and over, the rhythm unvarying but nonetheless thrilling in its febricity. Christ, it was rapturous. It felt so good. _So good._

 

“Harder, Kylo! Harder!”

 

His pace became ruthless, feral, driving into me, again and again and again. I wished I could somehow trap us in that moment, an infinite time loop of ecstasy as he wound my entire body from head to curling toes. My muscles tightened and clenched as I drew nearer to the pinnacle of passion.

 

“Oh, fuck!” I swore when I realised Kylo was nearing his release, too. His thrusts grew frantic, and he lowered his upper body to help steady himself, encasing me in an intimate skin-to-skin embrace.

 

“Shit, mommy,” Kylo groaned. His lips brushed the skin of my ear as he demanded, “Come with me!”

 

I screamed when the tremendous tension in my body finally broke, exploding like fireworks on the 4th of July. I carried Kylo with me, coercing his orgasm from him with every last twitch and spasm of my walls around him.

 

I gloried in the high where time didn’t feel linear. I felt weightless, all feelings of remorse, of guilt, were completely gone. Everything vacated my mind and was replaced with the purest sense of elation. Man, did it feel great.

 

But sadly, all good things must come to an end. Slowly, I drifted back down to reality and I grimaced when I noticed the coarseness, the _ickiness_ of granules in every orifice.

 

And I meant _every_ orifice.

 

“Ew,” the word escaped my lips.

 

“What’s wrong?” came Kylo’s muffled voice.

 

“There’s sand… in my vagina,” I scowled. “And in my ass, ugh!”

 

Kylo lifted his head and chuckled, amused.

 

“This was a _terrible_ idea. I mean, it sounded fun, and I did have fun, don’t get me wrong, but yeah, I will _never_ have sex on the beach again.” I hissed and grimaced some more as I untangled myself from Kylo’s vice-like hold to move to a sitting position. Kylo burst into great gales of laughter. “Stop laughing at me!” I playfully smacked his sand-covered shoulder.

 

“Here.” He stopped laughing for a second to sit up straight. “Let me help you with that.”

 

I didn’t even get a chance to ask him how since he unexpectedly threw me over his shoulder. Before I could register what had happened, the cool and refreshing waters of the Atlantic Ocean washed over me. I was holding on to Kylo as we submerged ourselves in the sea, stripping ourselves of every last grain of pesky, gritty sand from our bodies.

 

We swam and played in the cerulean waters for a bit, the waves crashing around us. When I caught his brown eyes glittering with veneration and he whispered my name in beseeching tones, I melted and pressed my mouth to his. I tasted salt and lust as we kissed feverishly, thirstily.

 

“And to think you didn’t want to come here in the first place,” Kylo commented after we broke our kiss. “Look how much fun you would’ve missed out on.”

 

I threw my head back, laughing. “You’re right. This was fun,” I admitted before scrunching my nose. “Except for the sand in my arse. That part was not fun at all.” Kylo laughed raucously and I splashed water on his face.

 

“And Hannah had fun, too,” he added, wiping his eyes.

 

I gasped. Hannah! My eyes darted to look back at the beach. I squinted and my heart sank when I didn’t see Hannah sleeping on the towel. I scoured the beach, looking right, looking left, and I couldn’t spot Hannah anywhere.

 

I began to freak out, hyperventilating as tears sprang from my eyes and I swam as fast I could back to shore.

 

“Hannah!” I cried, running up and down the stretch of sandy beach. I couldn’t find my baby anywhere. Where was she? My hands and feet went cold, despite the sun beating down on me. With each second that passed, I felt my throat tighten so painfully that it was taking my breath away.

 

“Where’s my baby?” I fell down to my knees as a crushing pain squeezed my chest. “Hannah!”

 

“Rey!” I heard Kylo call out to me but I hadn’t the strength to move. “Rey! She’s here!”

 

Adrenaline coursed through my veins, providing me with a surge of energy. I rose to my feet and ran to where Kylo was and an immense wave of relief washed over me when I laid eyes on my baby girl.

 

“Oh, Hannah!” My arms were outstretched, ready to scoop her into my arms, but I stopped when I reached her, my mouth hanging wide open as it dawned on me what had occurred. “Hannah! Oh my God! You’re… you’re crawling!”

 

Hannah halted her movements to smile up at me, flashing her two tiny teeth. All feelings of despair disappeared instantly and were replaced with pride and joy.

 

“Holy shit! Is this the first time she does that?” Kylo asked from behind me.

 

I startled at his voice and felt ashamed of our nudity. “Yes, she’s never crawled before.”

 

Kylo seemed proud and he started to put his arm around me but I ran towards where my white sundress was. I shook it before hurriedly putting it back on and fished my phone out of my pocket.

 

“I need to tell her father,” I said as I glanced at my phone screen. Two missed calls from Ben. “Shit,” I cursed, dialing his number.

 

“Rey!” Ben’s cheerful voice greeted me. “I was just about to text you. I figured you must’ve had your hands full doing something.”

 

_Oh, if you only knew._

 

“Hi, darling. I’m sorry I missed your calls.” I turned around to keep on eye on Hannah, who was still crawling all over the beach. It was an amazing sight to behold. “But guess what? I have the most exciting news!”

 

“What a coincidence! I’ve got some news, too.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah, I’ve got great news! I don’t have to pull an all nighter tonight so I’ll be home soon, sweetheart.”

 

_Crap!_

 

“That’s wonderful! I’ll meet you there. I uh, got sidetracked and am barely on my way over.”

 

“Oh, really? Well, do you want me to pick up some dinner for us then?”

 

“Yes, please. That’d be great.”

 

“You in the mood for Joe’s Stone Crab?”

 

“Yum,” I moaned with delight. “That sounds delicious! Do you think you could get some of their key lime pie, too?”

 

“Of course, sweetheart. I know how much you love that.”

 

“Thanks, Ben.” I smiled.

 

“So what’s your news?”

 

“My news… well, I think it’s better I show you when you get home.”

 

“Really?” Ben sounded excited. A bit too excited, actually. Oh no, he probably thought I meant to tell him I’m pregnant. Before I could clarify, I heard him shuffling about as he told me, “I’m leaving the office now. I can’t wait to see what you want to show me, honey.”

 

“Ben, it’s not—”

 

“And I can’t wait to finish what we started, too,” he whispered lowly.

 

I stammered as a flush of desire pooled in the base of my stomach.

 

“Love you, honey,” he told me before I had a chance to respond properly.

 

He hung up before I could tell him I loved him, too, and my body felt both tender and heavy at what could happen that night.

 

I made my way over to Hannah and Kylo. “I have to go,” I told him as I picked up Hannah from the ground. She started to scream in protest, flailing her chubby arms and legs.

 

“Go?” Kylo deflated. “You sure you don’t want to go rinse off over at the showers?”

 

I shook my head as Hannah continued to wail. “No, I need to go.” As I turned to leave, Kylo grabbed my elbow, his grip tight and bordering painful.

 

“When will I see you again?” he asked.

 

“Kylo, let go!” I yanked my arm free of his grasp.

 

“When?!”

 

“I don’t know,” I replied honestly as I failed to calm Hannah’s tantrum. “When I need you, okay?”

 

Kylo’s nostrils flared and his jaw clenched as he looked at me with wide eyes, asking, “What about when I need you?”

 

Hannah screeched at the top of her lungs and my patience had finally worn thin. “Hannah, stop!” I shouted as I readjusted her on my hip. She quieted when she heard the sternness in my voice. I bent down to pick up Kylo’s swim shorts, tossing them his way. He caught them. “Look Kylo, I can only deal with one child at a time so just be a good boy and give me my key.” I held out my hand. “Now.”

 

Kylo huffed and stomped his foot, but ultimately he went over to his duffel bag, pulling out my key. He sighed deeply before reluctantly placing it in my hand. I turned on my heel and began walking away.

 

“Oh and _don’t_ call me, Kylo,” I called over my shoulder as I kept on walking. “I’ll call you.”  

 

“ _Why can’t you see?_ ”

 

It was so faint I was amazed I even heard it, but his question… it stopped me dead in my tracks. His words—the eerie way he spoke them—I don’t know why, but it sent chills up my spine and goose pimples broke out all over my skin, in spite of the sweltering Miami heat.

 

“What?” I turned to face him. “What can’t I see? What do you mean by that?”

 

The playful mischief and admiration I was used to seeing in his eyes were gone, replaced by something else entirely different. I remained frozen in place as he regarded me with his black eyes in silence. His unblinking stare was intense and unnerving, creeping me out.

 

“Kylo?”

 

There was another couple seconds of perturbing silence as he glowered darkly before he finally blinked and mumbled, “See you around, Rey.”

 

He stayed unnaturally still as I took a few steps back, holding his gaze. I didn’t turn my back to him until I felt I was a safe distance away and then I practically sprinted all the way back to my car. It was completely mental but I could still feel his eyes on me. I shuddered and shook my shoulders, hoping and praying the feeling would go away soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are life! Please tell me what you guys thought, thanks! <3
> 
> *artwork in moodboard used with permission from lovely artist Jade Belle*


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